Ring Around the Rosie
by Audrey Ference
Dear Audrey,
Two of my buddies have confessed to being into licking their girls’ asses. This can’t be real. They say yeah, after the girl takes a bath they’re into it. I’m dumbfounded! I get anal penetration — but this is a whole other ballgame. What’s next, shit-flavored mints?! Really, what’s wrong with people? Would you want your ass to be licked?
Wow, dude, you REALLY need to get out more. Do you like getting your dick sucked? Does your ladyfriend chew dick-flavored mints? Do you use pussy-flavored mouthwash? Or chew another-person’s-mouth-flavored gum?
I think we can all agree that in the list of things that are enjoyable about sex-having, breath-freshening flavor is at the bottom (ha!). Analingus is a pretty non-exotic move at this point, and yes, people do really like it. Giving and getting. While there are more concerns about health and safety than with frontal oral — it’s possible to contract e. coli from uncareful salad tossing — it wasn’t all that many months ago that people were getting e. coli from spinach salad, so I don’t think that’s worth getting stressed about.
I mean look, nobody is going to make you eat someone’s ass out, but it’s really not weird. And even if it was weird, it’s not cool to get all “ew grody” about someone’s sexual preferences.
Dear Audrey,
In the arena of meeting people, the easiest places are where communities form, i.e. universities, the office, etc. I’m a single bloke of, you know, moderate attractiveness. But recently I’ve left school and have been pursuing freelance work. I work in an ever-changing environment and closely with only a very few individuals. Basically, my community has been eradicated, and for the most part I operate in more isolated terms than most. Friends have turned to online dating to help or, with a bit more defeat, getting one of those “at-home-fun-packs.” So here’s my question: in a city of this magnitude, it shouldn’t be hard to get dates, but it is — why so? Suggestions for all us freelancers out there?
I think you’ve answered your own question somewhere in there. I’m not sure why you’re down on meeting people online. It’s as you say: people mostly meet people through a community. Once you’re out of school, that could be friends of friends or people who go to your bar or whatever.
I’m sure we all know the pat advice for this, right? Join a club, meet people who share your interests! Become more active in your church group or volunteer for a charity! Stop focusing on meeting people to date and you’ll be happier, blah, etc.
While I’m sure that stuff is all well and good, in my personal experience, my friends meet people to date either through friends, or online. And they meet people to casually fuck online or at bars. I feel like some people still think of online dating as some weird risky thing for folks who are too socially awkward or in some way too horrific to meet people through the normal channels, when in fact, online dating is a bunch of single people in a city looking for other people in the same city with nothing to connect them organically.
If I were you, I’d try the online thing. There are some free ones, so just make a profile, put up a nice picture, and look for some people who seem like you’d like them. I think the key is emailing a bit first to make sure you’re not just completely wasting your time with someone you instantly despise. Then go on some dates. Most people I know who date online have met not only lovahs but people who they didn’t want to have sex with but actually became friends with. Win/win. You’re welcome.
Two of my buddies have confessed to being into licking their girls’ asses. This can’t be real. They say yeah, after the girl takes a bath they’re into it. I’m dumbfounded! I get anal penetration — but this is a whole other ballgame. What’s next, shit-flavored mints?! Really, what’s wrong with people? Would you want your ass to be licked?
Wow, dude, you REALLY need to get out more. Do you like getting your dick sucked? Does your ladyfriend chew dick-flavored mints? Do you use pussy-flavored mouthwash? Or chew another-person’s-mouth-flavored gum?
I think we can all agree that in the list of things that are enjoyable about sex-having, breath-freshening flavor is at the bottom (ha!). Analingus is a pretty non-exotic move at this point, and yes, people do really like it. Giving and getting. While there are more concerns about health and safety than with frontal oral — it’s possible to contract e. coli from uncareful salad tossing — it wasn’t all that many months ago that people were getting e. coli from spinach salad, so I don’t think that’s worth getting stressed about.
I mean look, nobody is going to make you eat someone’s ass out, but it’s really not weird. And even if it was weird, it’s not cool to get all “ew grody” about someone’s sexual preferences.
Dear Audrey,
In the arena of meeting people, the easiest places are where communities form, i.e. universities, the office, etc. I’m a single bloke of, you know, moderate attractiveness. But recently I’ve left school and have been pursuing freelance work. I work in an ever-changing environment and closely with only a very few individuals. Basically, my community has been eradicated, and for the most part I operate in more isolated terms than most. Friends have turned to online dating to help or, with a bit more defeat, getting one of those “at-home-fun-packs.” So here’s my question: in a city of this magnitude, it shouldn’t be hard to get dates, but it is — why so? Suggestions for all us freelancers out there?
I think you’ve answered your own question somewhere in there. I’m not sure why you’re down on meeting people online. It’s as you say: people mostly meet people through a community. Once you’re out of school, that could be friends of friends or people who go to your bar or whatever.
I’m sure we all know the pat advice for this, right? Join a club, meet people who share your interests! Become more active in your church group or volunteer for a charity! Stop focusing on meeting people to date and you’ll be happier, blah, etc.
While I’m sure that stuff is all well and good, in my personal experience, my friends meet people to date either through friends, or online. And they meet people to casually fuck online or at bars. I feel like some people still think of online dating as some weird risky thing for folks who are too socially awkward or in some way too horrific to meet people through the normal channels, when in fact, online dating is a bunch of single people in a city looking for other people in the same city with nothing to connect them organically.
If I were you, I’d try the online thing. There are some free ones, so just make a profile, put up a nice picture, and look for some people who seem like you’d like them. I think the key is emailing a bit first to make sure you’re not just completely wasting your time with someone you instantly despise. Then go on some dates. Most people I know who date online have met not only lovahs but people who they didn’t want to have sex with but actually became friends with. Win/win. You’re welcome.
