Spank Someone Happy! 

Last month, I had the best day of work ever — I got paid to march in the Gay Pride parade. I bought a white wig, painted a thunderbolt over my eye and picked up some short shorts from American Apparel. For a black woman dressed up like Lady Gaga and strolling through a sea of gay men, the watchword for the day was, “fierce!”

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Before the parade even began Michelle (who is my good friend and the funniest girl in America) spotted kidnapper, coke-whore, sex tape star and all around super star, Danielle Straub! Danielle, from The Real Housewives of New Jersey! Is there any more auspicious a start to a parade then spotting a reality television star with a checkered past? (Hint: No.)

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There was a lot more pre-parade waiting around than I’d anticipated. Tourists unabashedly stared and snapped pictures of me while I was eating a bagel and drinking orange juice, which were riveting shots, I’m sure. Being a part of a spectacle was new for me and it was kind of fun, but just when I was starting to get into being photographed, some drag queens showed up and stole all the attention.

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