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Friends with Benefits
Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis play young urban professionals whose easy fuckbuddy rapport is complicated by deeper emotions. Can sex friends stay best friends?!
Cowboys and Aliens
If we’re talking to you, like talking about this movie, and we say “versus” instead of “and,” and you insist upon correcting us, like “It’s actually called ‘Cowboys and Aliens,’” it’s just, you know. Don’t do that. We will absolutely punch you in the clavicle if you do that.
Miranda July’s second feature concerns a young couple confronting their own mortality, and is narrated by a cat. You already love this movie, unless you already hate it.
SoCal bros played by first-time writer-director Evan Glodell and friends have relationship troubles, and a post-apocalyptic ride complete with functional flamethrowers (actually built by the filmmakers). Dude. Dude!
The Smurfs 3D
For this, Roosevelt sent so many of our most promising young men to be cut down like grass at Guadalcanal?
30 Minutes Or Less
Bank-robbery comedy doubles as long-awaited pairing of the surely compatible performance styles of doughy, gregarious Danny McBride and Jesse Eisenberg, the human seratonin reuptake inhibitor.
Film Forum, at long last, mounts a dedicated retrospective of the greatest actor in the history of cinema: Ryan’s soft-spoken, menacing, anguished deconstructions of American manhood added an extra layer of depth to nuanced genre classics by filmmakers from Nick Ray and Anthony Mann to Fritz Lang and Max Ophuls. The series ends with a weeklong run of Sam Fuller’s House of Bamboo, costarring Ryan as a gay American crime lord in postwar Tokyo.
We’re trying hard not to be cynical about this apparently quite well-made Sundance hit, but it’s about two very pretty young ladies who fall in love with each other clandestinely in Tehran, a logline which suggests a fascinatingly diverse number of reasons for people to overrate it.
Conan the Barbarian
This version stars a native English speaker, and was not written by John Milius and Oliver Stone, and we fail to see the point.
We don’t really know anything about this movie other than that Anne Hathaway cut her hair for it. Also: Romola Garai!
Our Idiot Brother
Paul Rudd plays a screw-up who moves in with his sister, Zooey Deschanel and her lover, Rashida Jones, in a Williamsburg loft, and you’re not even still reading, are you, you’re already checking if tickets are on sale yet, but they’re not, it doesn’t come out until (August 26), which you’d know if you had read this far.
Almost certain to be the most guilt-stricken-yet-tensely orchestrated Mossad thriller since Munich, albeit with infinity percent fewer wife’s-eye-view shots of Eric Bana humping.