Ten Songs of Sex

(with some surprises)

Darling Nikki – Prince
Prince is a totally creepy looking little purple demon, but the ladies love him. This song is why. Or maybe it’s his tiny little ass.

Lazy Painter Jane – Belle and Sebastian

This song makes us move our hips in ways we’re very, very uncomfortable with. Please, join us!

I Turn My Camera On – Spoon
When do you turn your camera on, Britt? When you’re doing it?

Electric Funeral – Black Sabbath
Nuclear war: not that sexy. Listening to a song about nuclear war while having sex right before a nuclear war begins? Sexy.

Swimsuit Issue – Sonic Youth
Kim Gordon moaning other women’s names? C’mon. Should be illegal. Sigh.

Kyoto Song – The Cure
What? You don’t think pale, old fat men are sexy? Good point. But a younger, slimmer Robert Smith managed to make a song that may or may not be about screwing a dead person sound hot, and that means something. Right?

I Wanna Be Your Dog – The Stooges

Like Prince, Iggy Pop is totally creepy looking, but the ladies love him. Why? Because he’s filthy and your mom would be sooooo mad.

My Curse – The Afghan Whigs
Marcy Mays takes over the vocals here, and halfway through this song, there’s a beautiful moment where she sings “zip me down, kiss me there.” Incredibly sexy... and slutty!

Give it to Me Baby – Rick James

Okay, this is more disgusting than it is sexy, but whatever. Dude comes home drunk and wants a little love? What’s so bad about that, bitch?
[Ed. Send all angry letters to mconklin@thelmagazine.com. Please.]

H.W.C. – Liz Phair

Seriously, if you don’t know the song, visit your favorite search engine and type in “H.W.C. lyrics Liz Phair.” Dirty. Filthy. Yes.


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