The Air Down There
by Audrey FerenceDear Audrey,
My girlfriend suffers from, well, call it hormones, or chemistry, or, well... va-jay-jay stink. She is a very clean and conscientious woman, but even immediately after a shower the "aroma" is there—and it is bad. Like canned cat food. There is nothing she is or isn't doing; it is just there. We've been together for about a year. Seems like it wasn't there in the first month or two. She can't smell it. We've talked about it, and she basically said "deal with it, guys are supposed to dig their girl's scent," which I agree with, and I have tried to "deal," but it isn't working. It is difficult to stay erect and, well, forget about oral—it has put a huge damper on our sex life. Any suggestions?
Y'all know I love a woman who whole-heartedly digs her cha-cha, attendant smells and all. So when I say that this does sound like a problem, you can be sure it's not because I'm all "ew grody pussy barf." While all vadges smell, and those smells can change over the course of a lifetime and over the course of one's menstrual cycle, there are certain smell changes that generally bode ill in terms of health.
Anything in the fishy/rotting/dank/yeasty spectrum is usually not a good sign, and I'm going to go ahead and assume that "canned cat food" fits with that. Thank you for the vivid imagery. The culprit could be a yeast infection or bacterial vaginosis, which is when "bad" bacteria overwhelm the "good" bacteria that keep the gears turning in the pussy factory. In fact, BV can be caused/worsened by over-washing or douching, which can fuck with the chemistry up in there and create a more welcoming environment for the bad bacteria. It's weird that her gyno didn't notice anything, though. Has she had a checkup since this started? Either way, the doc should be able to diagnose and prescribe something to help her out.
Now duh, obviously nobody can tell anyone else what to do with their ladyparts, and again, normally I am very against any dude even thinking it's his business. But in this case a) it's affecting your shared sex life, which, you know, if she wants to fuck you she needs to listen to your needs/desires, as you would hers, and b) left untreated, infections could actually end up harming her junk. So I'd say tactfully raise your concern again and see what she says.
If she tells you to mind your own crotch, or if the smell turns out not in fact to be anything problematic (did you know that interacting with different semen can change the smell of one's vagina? True story!) then I'm afraid you're left with the options of sucking it up or breaking up with her. Or nose plugs, I guess. I gotta say, though, your description of the change and the particular odor really sounds like BV to me.
General advice time! Lotsa ladies have recurring issues with yeast infections/vaginosis/what have you. Here are some tips. Your ladyparts will thank me: Loose-fitting, breathable clothing is your friend. Heat and sweat are friends of the enemy. Cotton undies, jammies and workout clothes are good. Sleep naked, even. What the hell. Air your girl out. Yogurt, miso soup, kombucha, and all that probiotic hippie shit can help your good vaginal flora. Don't over-wash! And use unscented, gentle soap. Your natural juices are healthful, don't strip them away.
