34 Avenue B, 212-777-5729
Underneath the awning of the corner deli that used to occupy its location, adjacent to its restaurant affiliate Mama’s Food Store, and right next to a really excellent express taco stand, stands Mama’s Bar. As befitting its proximity to all this food, Mama’s is an ideal bar to bring some take out into, grab a six dollar pint of Stella (umm... replace that with “a four dollar bottle of Red Stripe”), and have yourself a nice dinner.
While eating, you might play some Hank Williams or Sly and the Family Stone off the jukebox, unless it’s a late meal, in which case you can talk to your friends (in this hypothetical, you have friends) over the music coming from the DJ equipment in the corner. (The DJ’s, incidentally, when they’re not busy spinning Bee Gees and Norman Greenbaum, have really mastered the trick of putting on an extended mix and then going outside for a cigarette.)
You’re also going to have to decide whether to feed the dog, if one is present. (In this hypothetical situation, let’s say that one is.) Plenty of bars let dogs in, but only at Mama’s have we seen the dog get up onto a stool at the bar (this was on a Saturday night), right next to a girl wearing a black leather studded belt very similar to the dog’s collar.
At some indeterminate point during this hypothetical situation, you’re going to have to go to the bathroom. While you’re in there, you’ll notice that the yellow walls are extremely conducive to graffiti, a situation that previous patrons have taken some advantage of. Unrepresentative but hopefully amusing sample: “That’s wonderful Harold now go out there and live some more!”, written in bold block letters directly above the urinal, and we wonder if you might, in this purely hypothetical situation, find that just a teensy bit inspirational.