The Bawdy Parts Guide
 

Because the Coccyx Shouldn’t Have All the Fun

New York City is all about sex. From the bright, hard, gleaming Chrysler Building (our most favoritest phallic symbol), to the sweaty, tight beats of a downtown club, this town has something to please just about every sexual proclivity. And let’s face it, the entire body is pretty much one big erogenous zone: each part deserves a little bit of special attention. Let us help you in your search...

THE HIPS

Coney Island Burlesque on the Beach:
New School Burlesque & Vaudeville

Naked ladies in satin corsets tap toes and gyrate hips to the echoes of long-forgotten debauchery and depravity-filled freakshows. If you’re not careful, you’ll find your own hips swinging a little bit.
10 pm every Friday night at Sideshows by the Seashore, FREE

THE CHEST

Playgirls’ Night Out
Webster Hall, July 7, 10pm
$10 for men until 11:30.
Open bar for the ladies, wet T-shirt contest, male strippers, and if we know our Playgirls scene like we think we do, a lot of poorly aimed high-fives.
125 E 11th St, between Third and Fourth Aves (L to Third Ave) 212-353-1600
www.webster-hall.com

THE NIPPLE

Modern American Body Arts
Keith Alexander, who boasts a stellar reputation among the most reputable NYC piercers, says it’s all about the sexuality of the piercing. He says it’s all about enhancing sensation. He’s right. We reccomend the nipple (in fact, it’s our official editorial policy to recommend the nipple).
462 87th St at Fifth Ave, Bay Ridge, Brooklyn
718-680-9775

THE ASS
(or the Hand, whatever you prefer)

OTK Spanking Party
Spanking, paddling, hairbrushes, rulers, wooden spoons, straps, and canes welcome. Please check whips, chains, and gags at the door until 10pm. Need any more be said?
Doors open at 7pm.
Paddles, 250 W. 26th St, First Sat of the month;
$35 for men, $5 for women
www.paddlesnyc.com

THE HAIR

The Beehive Salon
Williamsburg’s Beehive Salon won’t just revamp your hairdo for cheap, they’ll also get you laid. Browse their date book, replete with neighborhood singles, and add yourself to it before you leave by having your Polaroid taken… how can you lose?
494 Lorimer Street, 718 -782 8376

John Master’s Organics
Grown tired of the chafing nylon and unflattering mu-mu-like smocks of standard salons? John Master’s Organics will outfit you with a soft oversized T-shirt and waste no time in treating you to a stimulating scalp massage with customized essential oil application.
77 Sullivan Street,
212-343-9590

Privé
The SoHo Grand’s salon keeps Gwyneth Paltrow’s hair sexy enough for Chris Martin, and we all know how hard that can be.
310 W. Broadway, 212-274-8888

THE RUBBER NOSE

New York Costumes
New York Costumes has a huge selection of outfits, including sexy ones like Cleopatra, or the albino twins from Matrix: Reloaded. And if you don’t think the albino twins are sexy, all we can do is shake our heads.
104 Fourth Ave, at 11th St.
212-673-4546, www.newyorkcostumes.com

THE INNER EAR

Quantrill Motorcycle Rental 1-866-990-RENT
It’s a chopper, baby, it’s loud, proud and it’s sexy. Quantrill offers a variety of bikes from Hondas to Harleys. Set off car alarms and leave Vespa riders sucking on your tailpipe as you tool around the city on a hog. It just might be music to a heifer’s ears. Leather gear not included (but recommended).
www.quantrill.com/locations/NY.shtml

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