Neighborhood: Financial District
Age: “How old do you think I am?”
Occupation: Analyst at a large financial services company, where he barely makes six figures. And don’t even mention last year’s miserable excuse for a bonus.
Rent: $2,850 for some shithole one bedroom near the South Street Seaport. Looking to buy in Brooklyn Heights when bubble bursts.
Profile: Has seen American Psycho 10 times… has shirts and suits made to measure, shoes imported from Italy and stereo system from a Swiss company that only does mail order. Broke up with hot Danish model a few months ago, so lately orgasms have been hand-made too.
Under $30: Please. Don’t even bother.
Surefire: If you know this kind of guy you’ll know that ultimately no one matters to him as much as he does. So what better gift than immortalizing him as an action figure. We kid you not. Well, www.highlyflammabletoys.com will make a plasticized version of your buddy along with themed outfits and personalized packaging. How awesome is that… and, err, creepy. ($475)
Fantasy Gift: How about the gift of immortality? Well, no not really but Life Gems offers the next best thing — his carbon squashed into a diamond. As they put it “because love lives on…” Apparently so does poor taste. (.69 carat model, $6,999)
The Counterintuitive Gift: Sure he may be rich, but perhaps it’s time to make a spiritual deposit. (Tibetan Khow charm jewelry containing prayer scrolls $165 at Himalayan Gifts, 213 West 80 St)