For those of you unfamiliar with the porrón, it’s time you got to know how the people of southern Spain get lit. First, a little anecdote: This decanter-shaped booze feeder blessed our hearts and our livers when it was first brought to us from across the Atlantic. An acquaintance of mine, Uncle Eddie — named for his uncle-like qualities, not his actual biological status — carried it safely from Grenada to New York so that good American people could share the intoxicating experience. It was unclear at first how to maximize the effect of the vessel: a large vase-like entry and a thin, cylindrical spout. There were no instructions.
Thankfully, Uncle Eddie showed us the way. “You fill the thing with red wine, champagne, cheap vodka, perhaps some fruit juice and a cola product,” said Uncle Eddie. “Then you tilt it back so that a steady stream is released from the spout, pouring into your mouth. Slowly move the apparatus away from your lips as the stream elongates. It’s a real crowd pleaser.”
Uncle Eddie was right, everyone seemed to be having a swell time. We passed the porrón around the room until its sweet nectar ran dry. Then we refilled it and the ceremony continued into the night until our clothes were stained red. Friends, readers: How can we claim to be a country that drinks to such excess if we can’t experience debauchery in other cultural contexts? Let’s try it the Uncle Eddie’s way, shall we?
A Recipe for Disaster
Serves a room full of people
Recommendation: Wear an apron or a bib
4 Liters Carlo Rossi Sangria
1 Liter Georgi Vodka
1 bottle Andre Champagne
A couple cans of Coca Cola
1 liter fruit juice
1 Porrón or a decanter or a cleaned out bong
Pour mostly vodka, champagne and sangria into
the baron. Top it off with a little coke and fruit juice. Pass it around until emptied. Refill. Repeat. Refill. Repeat...