The Downtown Chef: Pineapple or Purge
Pineapple a la Mode
I’ve never been an advocate of dieting. Even at a young age, I couldn’t help but notice that everyone with a can of Diet Coke was at least one and a half times their suggested body weight. And then there were those girls in college claiming that they were allergic to white bread and cheese. Stick with purging ladies, it suits you better. Let’s not forget the “yey” diet supplemented with regular anonymous sex. To that I say, no, no, no. Of all the trial and error diets out there, substitution takes the cake. A foxy Romanian girl, ironically named “Peaches” introduced me to the Pineapple diet. The rules are simple enough: Substitute a meal a day with a whole pineapple. “It speeds up your metabolism and makes you lose like 20 pounds. Sophia Loren swears by it.” I’ve neglected to do any research on the pineapple or this asinine theory because, like I said, I don’t advocate diets. This week’s recipe incorporates a bit of pineapple sorbet, but feel free to use Haagen Dazs’s Pineapple Coconut Ice Cream, unless of course, you’re on a diet.
What You’ll Need
1 Pineapple
1 pint Hagen Daagen Dazs Pineapple Coconut Ice cream
1 spoon
A sprig of mint or a few basil leaves
What to Do
To cut a pineapple properly, use a dull chef’s knife or serrated knife. First remove the leafy top and the bottom. Stand the pineapple upright and rove the rind from top to bottom. Cut all of the brown eyes off because they’re not palatable. Slice the pineapple in 3/4 inch rounds and lay them flat. Top each with a scoop of ice cream and garnish with a sprig of mint or a couple basil leaves. Save any unused pineapple for later meal substitutions. Take a few laxatives and call it a night.
