Age: Erotic awakening involved a lot of Bay City Rollers.
Occupation: Ekes out a living writing record reviews for an alt weekly, running his own webzine and giving guitar lessons to private-school teenagers from Yorkville.
Rent: $1075 for some shithole one bedroom on 96th Street that’s so fucking loud in summer he has to sleep with earphones and a white noise machine.
Profile: Still bemoans the demise of Creem and always picks up old copies whenever he sees those guys selling incense and Marcus Garvey biographies.
Under $30: Since his uniform is a pair of Levis, T-shirt and crumbling New Balances, why not get him something just a little hipper to curl around his PBR-filled paunch. Something that says “a**holes from space” for example. (www.discoskater.com)
Surefire: He’s a gamer as sure as he’s a geek. So TV Games, old-school joystick fun that plugs directly into your tube, will freak his shit out. (www.jakkstvgames.com)
The Fantasy Gift: This man’s fantasies usually involve Lester Bangs and one of the original Charlie’s Angels (almost always Kate Jackson) but this year a Kamen Rider Amazon just might blow his mind… did we mention it includes the “sickest bike ever!”? ($525.95 Kid Robot 126 Prince St)
The Counterintuitive Gift: “The male SoHo-ite has no time to pop by a retail store and needs his “premium.” The Body Shop gifts like three days ago.” Amen. (Men’s Premium Face and Body Gift, $58, The Body Shop,154 Spring St)