Neighborhood: Williamsburg

Age: Absolutely 23.

Occupation: Artist and stuff

Rent: $875 share in three bedroom with this brooding guitarist dude from Philly and Caitlin, her best friend since like fourth grade even though sometimes she gets a little annoying.

Profile: Works in marketing for a designer bottled water company and makes jewelry in her spare time… parties hard and is digging New York but wonders why girls are all so jealous and shit and like up in your business — what’s up with that? Seriously.

Under $30: Toys are so boy and art is so over… so why not combine the two for the girl who has everything (to bitch about)? A Harem Scarem doll is only $10 painted and $5 unpainted at the MF Gallery. (157 Rivington St.)

Surefire: Get a gift that’s soft and squishy on the inside and ugly on the outside... just like she feels… sigh… (Babo, Cinko andTray are all a steal at $20.

Fantasy Gift: Ok, she knows that paying a lot of money for band shirts is like so lame but if someone gave her one and paid like a lot of money for it… that would mean someone at least gives a shit right? Right? Get stuff like ($300 Who T-shirts and such at Jeffreys, 449 W. 14th St)

The Counterintuitive Gift: The trouble with irony is that it devastates everything in its wake. Including this category. What’s counterintuitive for a hipster for whom all is both obvious and elusive? How about that old cliché that has gone from lame to hip to ironical and back again — probably in the time it took to read this sentence? Burberry!  (Cashmere Plaid Scarf $225, Saks, 611 Fifth Ave)


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