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Best Bar in Which to Enjoy the Gentrification of Prospect Heights
748 Washington Ave.
It's raining and you're underwhelmed by the Brooklyn Museum—why not skip up Washington Ave. for whiskey or red wine and watch Kurosawa's Seven Samurai?
Best Bar in Which to Make-Out in the Back Room
Bar Great Harry
280 Smith St.
A cozy Carroll Gardens pub with a dimly lit, semi-neglected back room and a solid 2-for-1 happy hour that will get you drunk and selfish enough to become an exhibitionist. There's even a Sopranos pinball machine with squealing stripper sound effects that will get you in the mood.
Best New Hipster Vortex
916 Manhattan Ave.
Poor nomadic hipster, cursed with the Sisyphean task of roaming New York in search of the next hot spot. For the moment, this Greenpoint bar owned by the people behind beyond-hip boutique Oak, is it. Killer dance parties, cheap booze and one of the coolest crowds in Brooklyn—for now.
Best Bar to Drunkenly Call Someone a Hoser
559 Grand St.
What's all the fuss aboot? That would be this neighborhood bar with a Canadian bent, serving Labatt Blue, Moosehead, Canadian whiskeys and more, with Neil Young on the jukebox and friendly plaid-clad patrons at the bar. Blame Canada indeed, for a good time.
Best Soccer Bar For People Who Don't Know Anything About Soccer
583 Vanderbilt Ave.
We kind of like soccer, but learning the ins and outs of the game in an environment where drunken Europeans are screaming and singing songs can be intimidating. Welcome to Woodwork, where relaxed Brooklynites can drink craft beer, watch a Premier League game and ask "What's happening?" without fear of retribution.
Freshest Breath of Air Underneath the Williamsburg Bridge
East River Bar
97 S. 6th St.
In an area mostly distinguished by on- and off-ramps, bus terminals and semi-reclaimed industrial loft spaces, this former paint factory would seem to fit right in—cavernous and graffitied, with PBR on tap—until you step onto the massive patio, casually appointed with picnic tables perfect for BYOBBQ.
Best Bar to Cry Along with Morrissey and George Jones Into Pitchers of Cream Ale
303 Bedford Ave.
The last time we were at Lucky Dog we swear we saw two dogs sitting on barstools—one was reading the racing forms, the other was reading W.G. Sebald. We'd only had about ten pints of fresh, perfectly poured, locally brewed beer at the time, so we're pretty sure that's an accurate memory.
Best Spot to Down Buckets of Asian Beer
154 Orchard St.
You won't find glass boots or warm pretzels at Michael "Bao" Hyunh's beer garden; instead, think buckets of 6, 12 or 24 ice-cold beers (you're only charged for the ones you drink) from the Philippines, Vietnam, China and more, complemented with dishes like crab spring rolls and crispy Berkshire pork belly.