Well, like it or not, it’s coming up, so don’t be a schmuck this year and wait till the last minute to put a lampshade on your head and call yourself the Party Girl. A good costume takes planning, attention to detail and a whole lot of inspiration. For a little bit of the latter, check out some of the doozies below.
    
Karen
Where she presides: Gatsby’s, Nolita
Favorite drink: Amstel Light

There’s one costume of this old lady — it looks like two people — an old lady with a baby clutching onto her back. My friend wore that once. I’ve seen someone dressed up as a cow — they had an udder coming out from their stomach. I’ve seen some very good ones dressed up as pimps and ho’s in the last few years — couples. Those aren’t really scary though. None of those are scary. I saw a guy dressed up as a woman — he was dressed up as Christina Aguilera. I saw a guy with a cereal box on his head with a knife through it. He was a “cereal killer.”
    
Dan
Where he presides: St. Mark’s Ale House, East Village
Favorite drink: Guinness

Oh, man. I’m trying to think of something good. Jesus, I’m blanking here. Alright, alright... Gumby and Pokey in a three-person costume. Yeah. Two people were Pokey, and one guy was Gumby. The reason it was memorable was that Gumby was chainsmoking all night.
    
Aronne
Where she presides: Dempsey’s Pub, East Village
Favorite drink: Jim Beam and Coke

There’ve been so many. My boyfriend’s whole take on it is to be as offensive as possible. He had one idea — he didn’t actually do it because people would kill him — but he had one idea that... you can’t print this, but... [She then goes on to tell of a costume idea so scandalous that our intrepid correspondent’s head nearly explodes. It is quite funny though. Intrigued? Email me] One year I went as White She-Devil from Undercover Brother. There was the Giant Pussy, of course. Some girl over in the East Village dressed up as a Giant Pussy. Another year I was the devil’s administrative assistant. My friend was the devil and I just walked behind him with a clipboard.
    
Bob
Where he presides: Delta Grill, Hell’s Kitchen
Favorite drink: Cajun Martini

I used to own a bar down on West Houston, and did we ever see some weird stuff. It all kind of cancels itself out. Ok. Here’s the best thing I ever saw: You know the old women’s prison on Sixth Avenue? I think it’s around Eighth Street. Well, someone had rigged up a giant spider to walk around the outside of the building. The thing was really creepy looking. The spooky music they blasted helped the whole thing out a lot too. The weirdest costume though? There was a double horses ass one year. That one sticks out, so to speak.
    
Jeremy
Where he presides: The Comfort Diner, Flatiron
Favorite drink: Red Bull and vodka

It was two years ago in Washington D.C. There was this really tall guy dressed up in a priest’s frock with bright, red lipstick on. And he’s with this short guy wearing an alter boy’s uniform, with kiss marks all over his face!
    
George and Dave
Where they preside: Channel Four, Midtown
Favorite drink: Absolut Citron

George: I don’t even know where to start. Ask Dave over here. Dave: The Today Show Halloween Party — right across the street. They have some of the weirdest shit you’ve ever seen. A lot of the Village parade people go there first to show off their costumes. One guy, he shows up every year in this scary, ‘Where’s the beef lady-style old woman costume and it turns out he’s a respected doctor. I’ve seen Edward Scissorhands there — some dangerous shit. Some off-the-wall shit — it’s usually the Friday before Halloween.