Ah, aught five, a year that will live forever in our hearts. Of course most of you are such DT-ing winos that you’ve blacked out everything between the Challenger shuttle disaster and lunch. This is good, because you can read this boring year-in-review list like you’re living it for the first time. Anyway, enough chitchat — there’s boozy reminiscing to be done.
2005: The Year of the Secret Bar
Secret bars were all the rage this year, in the sense that there were two of them and people talked about them. La Esquina and the Back Room: we salute you!
2005: Curse of the CBGBs Zombie
Everyone kept saying it was a goner, yet CBGBs is still lurching along, demanding brains and reminding oldsters of bygone eras. Can 2006 kill it for good? Probably. Not-yet-dead CBGBs: we salute you!
2005: Openings and Re-openings
Like that kid who transfers to your school and is instantly, inexplicably popular, Mo Pitkin’s House of Satisfaction opened to immediate adulation. Maybe it’s the fried mac ‘n’ cheese, but nobody has anything bad to say about this place — it’s cool enough for the hipsters without being too bitchy for the normals. Mo, you are my choice for Peachiest New Bar. Second place goes to Water Taxi Beach, which is neater-skeeter but seasonally limited. A beach! In Queens! With $1 PBRs! Plus a drunken boat ride.
In the late-breaking but crucial category, Liquor Store Bar re-opened a few weeks ago. Liquor Store is the nicest bar in the world if you enjoy talking to your friends while drinking reasonably priced drinks. Which I do. Mo Pitkin, Water Taxi Beach, and Liquor Store: we salute you!
2005: The Year of the Phantom David Cross
First David Cross was going to buy an undisclosed bar downtown and open a Cross-approved wonderland, then that fell through. Now the LES is being terrorized by a David Cross doppelgänger. He is everywhere, and yet he is nowhere. Phantom David Cross: we salute you!
2005: Noise Complaint Storm A-Brewing
Slowly and steadily, press about the anti-bar contingents of the East Village and the LES is gaining momentum. Breeders are complaining about the noise downtown. Is this a real threat? Will the city cave to the community boards? Could you imagine a future where bar growth in the city’s booze belt is curtailed? Stay tuned! In 2006, all will be revealed.