Thoughts on the Popped-Collar Polo Dudes? 


Let’s say New York is comprised of different tribes, some more readily identifiable than others. And let’s say one of those tribes has a very particular way of popping up their collars, that they might be recognized from afar in all their glory. And let’s just say you should probably avoid that tribe whenever possible.

   


ELLEN
Where she presides:
        Matchless, Greenpoint
Favorite drink:                   Campari and soda
Well, I lived through the 80s. I went to college in the 80s. I saw it then. I don’t need to see it now. Just like I don’t need to see girls with the leggings and the three-tiered skirts — bad. It was bad then and it’s even worse now. People ought to know better these days.
    
PATRICK
Where he presides:            Turkey’s Nest Tavern, Williamsburg
Favorite drink:                     Corona
I actually haven’t seen it around. I remember it in the 80s. It probably should have stayed in the 80s. Is it really back? It was from, like, Tom Cruise back when it started in the 80s — what was that movie — Risky Business? With him in his underwear with the collar popped up? That was what every kid wore that beat me up in high school because I was into punk rock.
   
BRETT
Where he presides:        Bar None, East Village
Favorite drink:                 Jack on the rocks
I hate ‘em. Those guys don’t tip — terrible tippers. They make all the girls go away and they smell like horrible cologne all the time. Where did they get the idea? It’s probably MTV’s fault... or the Gottis — one of the two.

PAUL
Where he presides:        Harmony, Midtown West
Favorite drink:                 Heineken
I tell that sort of guy: ‘Do you know where the door is?’ Zero tolerance.

RICHARD
Where he presides:        New World Grill, Worldwide Plaza
Favorite drink:                 Frozen margaritas (he makes a good one too)
You know, that look doesn’t show its face around here really. [‘And we’re thankful!’ says the waitress.] I think that goes for this city as a whole, right? It’s more of a Connecticut frat boy sort of thing, don’t you think? Here, let’s see what I look like. [Richard flips up the collar of his golf shirt...] Oh god!  Pretty awful, right?  [Your correspondent does the same] Oh man. I dislike you already! [Us too Richard.]

ROB
Where he presides:        Delta Grill, Hell’s Kitchen
Favorite drink:                 Ketel One and tonic
I feel nothing but contempt for that guy. I’ve seen far too many upturned collars in bars. Give me a break. Fortunately we don’t get any in here.
    
SARA
Where she presides:        Social, Hell’s Kitchen
Favorite drink:                   White wine
Wait a minute, can I consult the waitress? [Says the waitress: ‘I think it’s fine. It depends on the guy. It looks a little obnoxious, but generally they’re harmless.] Well, [says Sara] I think it’s gay. Say... why don’t you come in here everyday and ask me a funny question like that? [We’ll see you tomorrow, Sara.]

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