U-Spot, I Spot, We All Spot the G-Spot! 

Dear Audrey,
What’s a u-spot? Is that even real? Is it the same as the g-spot or what?

As real as the day is long, my friend, and not the g-spot at all. The u-spot is one of the more recently discovered erogenous zones, and for a while was thought to be mythical.

Imagine the female lady-part area as being like the solar system, where you think you know what the deal is because you made a model with tennis balls in fifth grade, but actually scientists are always discovering new shit and reclassifying things and whatever. In this metaphor, the u-spot is a trans-Neptunian object whose existence has recently been confirmed.

It’s located just north and to the sides of the urethra (pee-hole), and is ridged and extra-sensitive. Like all girl-spots, it enjoys stimulation, though might get grumpy if you’re too rough or not lubey enough. Fingers, tongues and vibes are all acceptable methods. All the usual caveats about some people liking different things apply.

But! Allow me to further blow your mind! Like a planetesimal emerging from the Oort cloud of our collective pussies, there is another new-ish spot: the a-spot (or AFE spot). This saucy fellow is located at the end of the vaginal canal, between the bladder and the cervix, sorta just above the cervix. If the clit is the lady penis, the a-spot is the lady prostate. Some say that if you can stimulate all of the spots in rapid succession, you can make a woman get hilarious cartoon triple sevens for eyeballs and have coins pour from her hoo-ha, but science has been unable to confirm this. Dildo makers, take note.

So there you go. New discoveries on the vulvic front. Stay tuned for further developments — who knows what awesome shit lurks beneath the panties of your average woman?

Dear Audrey,
I’ve been using Second Life for a long time to meet people who share my kink. It’s nothing illegal, but I don’t feel ready yet to find a community to play with in real life. Recently, my boss decided that our company (interactive marketing stuff) needs to get into “this whole Second Life thing.” I’m not out to my office or to my family. I’m not ready to come out to anyone, and if I did, this isn’t the way I’d want to do it. But at the same time, I think having to change my avatar in SL for them really sucks. That was a place where I felt safe being the “real” me and if I have to change that then I don’t know where else I can go or what I can do.

Well, you know, the whole situation kind of sucks. When you’re in the closet, you’re in the closet. That’s what that means, right? You’re hiding some part of your identity from people. I get that it’s tough to feel like you’d be treated weird if people knew about whatever your kinky thing is, and also that work is work and your private life is your private life. I mean, people do do things for jobs in First Life, like wear suits and quit swearing so much, so it’s not completely wrong to change a little to be more business-appropriate.

But it sounds like more than that — you can no longer have it both ways. You gotta either be out or be in. Make up a new avatar or show up as the “real” you. I can’t give you the right answer, but it seems shitty to me to go through life only letting people see a watered-down version of yourself. Y’know? What would you tell a person who was struggling with a more “culturally accepted” form of non-normativity? If your co-workers are assholes, it’s their problem, man. Unfortunately, Second Life isn’t all that different from First Life. Except for the flying. The flying is awesome. 


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