What Are Your Biggest Fashion Regrets?
by Adam Bonislawski
We all have them. No matter who you are, at some point you’ve made a terrible sartorial decision (even if you won’t admit it to yourself). The amazing thing with the following bartenders was that half of them seemed to be describing contemporary Williamsburg. It was all we could do not to insert snarky editor’s notes in each response.
Phil
Where he presides: Daddy O, West Village
Favorite drink: Horseneck (bourbon, ginger ale, bitters lemon twist)
Z Cavariccis tucked in with like some kind of brightly colored button-down shirt with one of those belts with the silver tip that went through the loop and hung down. With the grey leather shoes that tied up — I can’t remember what they were called — they tied up. Man, it’s embarrassing now to say that I even owned them. And the Members Only jacket. Merry Go Round in the mall — that’s where we used to go to get them.
JoAnne
Where she presides: Pinch, West Village
Favorite drink: Magners
A shellsuit tracksuit — just a tracksuit, but they’re made of some mad material and they’re really baggy and in bright colors — I think mine was red probably. I was a teenager, early teens. It was all fashion, style, that sort of thing.
Michael
Where he presides: Bleecker St. Bar, West Village
Favorite drink: McCallan’s neat
I’m old enough to remember the late-70s leisure suit with platform shoes. I was a kid, but my mom used to dress me up for church in the kid’s version of the leisure suit. That was probably the worst. Although, in the 80s, when I was old enough to know better I had a double-breasted sharkskin suit and white shoes with a thin black tie. That was back when Billy Joel was singing about that stuff.
Elijah
Where he presides: Boxers, Greenwich Village
Favorite drink: Jack on the rocks
I guess my worst fashion decision involved animal prints. Would I care to explain that? Alright, it was zebra prints. I went to my high school prom in a velvet zebra print tux. Yeah, I regret it. I look back on my high school photos, and I’m like, “What the fuck was I thinking?”
Adam
Where he presides: Minetta Tavern, Greenwich Village
Favorite drink: Dirty martini
I don’t like this question. You don’t ask your bartender this question. You want to talk fashion, go to SoHo and ask a professional. I’d rather not talk about my own fashion. You want to talk about poor fashion decisions by customers? We could maybe go there... [Ed. Yes, we tried to go there. The Bartender was having none of it.]
Nicki
Where she presides: Milanos, East Village
Favorite drink: Ketel One and Soda
How’s this? White pants, red-and-white socks, red-and-white striped shirt and a red-and-white visor. Very embarrassing. Very poor decision. Yes, this was back in the 80s of course. I mean, even my shoelaces wound together, red and white. I thought I looked good, too! Yeah, since those days, I pretty much stay away from fashion. It’s jeans and a T-shirt for me. That pretty much does the trick.
Helen
Where she presides: Jameson’s, Midtown East
Favorite drink: Frozen margarita
Definitely my purple dungarees. Yes, I went through a stage where I thought my purple dungarees were the bees’ knees. I actually wore them on a first date with a guy I was mad about. He saw them, and I swear, he was about to turn around. I got a second date, though, so how bad could they have been? Hey, I was 15.
Phil
Where he presides: Daddy O, West Village
Favorite drink: Horseneck (bourbon, ginger ale, bitters lemon twist)
Z Cavariccis tucked in with like some kind of brightly colored button-down shirt with one of those belts with the silver tip that went through the loop and hung down. With the grey leather shoes that tied up — I can’t remember what they were called — they tied up. Man, it’s embarrassing now to say that I even owned them. And the Members Only jacket. Merry Go Round in the mall — that’s where we used to go to get them.
JoAnne
Where she presides: Pinch, West Village
Favorite drink: Magners
A shellsuit tracksuit — just a tracksuit, but they’re made of some mad material and they’re really baggy and in bright colors — I think mine was red probably. I was a teenager, early teens. It was all fashion, style, that sort of thing.
Michael
Where he presides: Bleecker St. Bar, West Village
Favorite drink: McCallan’s neat
I’m old enough to remember the late-70s leisure suit with platform shoes. I was a kid, but my mom used to dress me up for church in the kid’s version of the leisure suit. That was probably the worst. Although, in the 80s, when I was old enough to know better I had a double-breasted sharkskin suit and white shoes with a thin black tie. That was back when Billy Joel was singing about that stuff.
Elijah
Where he presides: Boxers, Greenwich Village
Favorite drink: Jack on the rocks
I guess my worst fashion decision involved animal prints. Would I care to explain that? Alright, it was zebra prints. I went to my high school prom in a velvet zebra print tux. Yeah, I regret it. I look back on my high school photos, and I’m like, “What the fuck was I thinking?”
Adam
Where he presides: Minetta Tavern, Greenwich Village
Favorite drink: Dirty martini
I don’t like this question. You don’t ask your bartender this question. You want to talk fashion, go to SoHo and ask a professional. I’d rather not talk about my own fashion. You want to talk about poor fashion decisions by customers? We could maybe go there... [Ed. Yes, we tried to go there. The Bartender was having none of it.]
Nicki
Where she presides: Milanos, East Village
Favorite drink: Ketel One and Soda
How’s this? White pants, red-and-white socks, red-and-white striped shirt and a red-and-white visor. Very embarrassing. Very poor decision. Yes, this was back in the 80s of course. I mean, even my shoelaces wound together, red and white. I thought I looked good, too! Yeah, since those days, I pretty much stay away from fashion. It’s jeans and a T-shirt for me. That pretty much does the trick.
Helen
Where she presides: Jameson’s, Midtown East
Favorite drink: Frozen margarita
Definitely my purple dungarees. Yes, I went through a stage where I thought my purple dungarees were the bees’ knees. I actually wore them on a first date with a guy I was mad about. He saw them, and I swear, he was about to turn around. I got a second date, though, so how bad could they have been? Hey, I was 15.
