What Are Your New Year’s Resolutions? 

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Donny
Hailed at: JFK Airport
Hails from: Baltimore

You know, I was talking to my wife about this and I couldn’t think of anything. What are the big ones people make? Save more money, lose weight, stop smoking, whatever. Well I don’t smoke, I’m pretty healthy—at least, I don’t eat crap and I play basketball—and I already save as much as I can. We talked about, maybe we should resolve to go on a fancy trip this year, but then we’re just spending money. So I don’t have any resolutions. I’m perfect.

Kirpal
Hailed on: The Lower East Side
Hails from: India

I always make a resolution to work less and have more fun, but if I do that it’s two months before I’m dead in debt and can’t do anything and need to work everyday. If it were up to me, my resolution would be to go to Chuck E. Cheese’s and play video games everyday, but who can do that? [Maybe you could resolve to apply for a job there?] Actually that’s not a bad idea.

Kweku
Hailed at: The Barclays Center
Hails from: Ghana
Damn I forgot all about that. I don’t have one. Let me think… um, not die this year?

Peter
Hailed in: Park Slope
Hails from: Bay Ridge
I should resolve to quit smoking, but who am I kidding? If anything I should resolve to smoke more so I can at least feel good about failing at that. I’m not going to quit smoking. Maybe my resolution will be to stop caring about whether I smoke. And on that note… [Lights a cigarette]


Image courtesy Reanimation Library


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