For some of us, going down to the corner bar is like a mini vacation: one makes sure to bring traveler’s checks (available at the ATM), a guidebook (a daily newspaper), and you can’t forget your passport (ID), just in case; one also has varying degrees of familiarity with regional dialects and customs (bartenders’ names, the happy hour schedule) and if it wasn’t already understood, will soon grasp the nuance of local politics (the buyback pace). That’s all well and good, but when do the bartenders get a vacation?
Where he presides: Luna Park, Union Square
Favorite drink: Budweiser
I just got my first baby niece, man! So I just bought my plane tickets for Phoenix today. I can’t wait to see her. Yeah – it’s my sister. She’s been out there for about 20 years – we’re from California originally. I doubt I’d ever go to Phoenix if it wasn’t for her. It’s more of a family town. Bank One Ballpark’s nice, and there’s some good golf courses. But otherwise…
Where she presides: Mark Bar, Greenpoint
Favorite drink: Jameson, straight up
I went to Puerto Rico this summer... We get there, the weather is beautiful — much nicer than here — the beach is great, and... My friend and I start wondering why there so are many men there. Then it hits us: gay pride week in Puerto Rico. So, basically, there’s tons of gay men and fat lesbians kissing and making out. But not for us. No hook ups that week for me and my friend. Yes, I’ll try to plan the dates better next time.
Where she presides: Revival, Gramercy
Favorite drink: Tequila
Actually, I already went away this summer. I just got back from the Bahamas, as it happens. Basically, it went like this: I had just gotten done with a show I was doing. I was really, really tired. So I made the decision to go down to the Bahamas on a Tuesday, I bought the tickets on a Wednesday, and by Saturday I was there. I’ll tell you though, it was pretty lousy — I’m never going the during peak season again. It was really crowded with kids and college students. Not as relaxing as it could have been.
Where he presides: Niagra, East Village
Favorite drink: Beer
I’m going to north Texas for dove season — Era, Texas to be exact. Yeah, I grew up in Dallas, and Era’s about an hour north of there. My friend owns a cattle ranch we can hunt on — we do it every summer. A lot of my friends from high school are still hanging around in the area… I really enjoy the hunting, yes. I’ve been going up there every summer since I was about seven years old. Technically, dove season starts on September 1, but I’ll be there in late August to see my family and friends.
Where he presides: Lakeside Lounge, East Village
Favorite drink: Vodka and soda
I’m pretty much here in the city through the end of summer — I’ve already had my vacations. Both of them were weddings. One of them was in Orlando: also known as the least interesting city in the country. I was at a restaurant eating, basically, this taste-free meal… so I asked the waitress, who looked “hip,” if I can even use that word, if there was anything to do at night or if there were any cool neighborhoods. She just kind of rolled her eyes at me and said ‘This is Orlando.’ The other wedding was in San Francisco, where I was trapped in the Presidio for a week babysitting my friend’s kids. The only way I could tell I was in San Francisco was I could see a tiny sliver of the Golden Gate Bridge from where I was at in the park. There they are: my cultureless summer vacations!