What Do You Do Better When Drunk?
by Ryan Vlastelica
We're better at crying when we're drunk. The tears just flow and flow and flow, and then everything feels better. So that's nice.
GILLIAN
Where she presides:
Gossip Bar, Hell's Kitchen
Favorite drink: Peppermint martini
Handstands. I'm always doing handstands when I'm drunk. I can never do them when I'm sober, and when I'm drunk I just need someone to hold my legs up. [So, you can't really do them when you're drunk either?] No. But drinking is liquid courage; I don't have the nerve to try it when I'm sober. I also become a much better dancer. It's my thing to dance on bars when I'm drunk; I like to be up high.
KERRY
Where she presides:
Finnerty's Pub, E. Village
Favorite drink: Jameson
I'm much better at watching sports while drunk. That's actually a big help here, since we always have sports on and customers always want to talk about them. It's not that I need to pay attention to the scores or anything, but it helps to take an interest. I don't drink when I'm working the day shift, but on slow nights I'll have a few shots to relax. It helps me concentrate on things like sports, which I don't care about. Drinking really helps the time go by.
KAHLEN
Where she presides:
Ontario, East Williamsburg
Favorite drink: Jameson
Bartending is much easier when I've been drinking. It relaxes me, makes it easier to talk to customers. I can pace myself, though, so counting cash at the end of the night isn't a problem. I mean, I have other talents that I'm better at sober. I was on a reality show. I was better at that sober, believe it or not.
REGGIE
Where he presides:
Bushwick Country Club, Williamsburg
Favorite drink: Jagermeister
I'm better at this job when I'm drunk, though I'm not allowed to drink until 3:45am or so. I get more flirtatious when I'm drunk, for sure.
JESSICA
Where she presides:
The Bitter End, West Village
Favorite drink: Couldn't say
Nothing, really. Or... oh, yeah! Putting my foot in my mouth! Ok, more figuratively than literally. But alcohol does make one more flexible!
