What Would You Head-Butt For? 

By now, a frightening percentage of the Earth’s population has seen clips of French soccer player Zinedine Zidane head-butting his Italian antagonist, who was purportedly bad-mouthing his mother and sister… Hard words, but worth a head to the chest?

Where he presides:
    Paddy Reilly’s, Kips Bay
Favorite drink:              Heineken
If they insult your mother or your family, if they hate on your family you have to do something. You have to stand up for your family. I don’t know about a head-butt, but you have to do something. It would be last resort, of course. You’d try to chat with them first, but if they go across the line, then you have to do something. Still, I don’t think he should have done that. In his last game?
Where she presides:
    Hook & Ladder, Kips Bay
Favorite drink:                Sapphire Martini
I don’t know. I just wouldn’t really care. If it’s just someone I didn’t know? I mean, I bartend — I’m used to people saying crazy things. And I’m too lazy to start a fight anyway. I think the head-butt was bullshit anyway. The guy falling down and rolling around like that? He was just faking it. He was trying to get the other guy kicked out of the game [“So you don’t think it really hurt?” asks our intrepid correspondent] C’mon — they’re soccer players.

Where he presides:
    Town Tavern, Midtown
Favorite drink:              Caipirinha
It’s not something someone would say to me. People know better. What would make me give somebody the Zidane? Drunk guys that won’t stop hitting on the same poor girl. You can spot these guys from a mile away, just slobbering and repeating themselves. I see them in my bar all the time and I don’t stand for it. When it happens this weekend I just might give the guy a header to the chest. Like Zidane. Yeah.

Where he presides:
    Grace’s Trattoria, Upper East Side
Favorite drink:               Cuba Libre
Anybody who tries to bargain with me at the bar makes me really mad. “Hey, can I get the buyback now!” “Hey, can you put some more rum in that, it cost eight dollars!” “Can I get a rebuy anytime soon?” Cheap bastards. The buyback comes at my discretion or not at all. You can’t ask for it. It makes me want to climb over the bar.
Where she presides:
    Grand Saloon, Murray Hill
Favorite drink:                 Tequila
Mother, sister, family member... that would do it. Did you gain weight? That’s another one. Are you drunk? If I saw someone being mean to an animal. What would push me to head-butt someone? I would say tequila — yeah, definitely tequila.


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