What?s Your Personal Axis of Evil?
by Adam Bonislawski
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We all have special things that we hate in a special kind of way, and though it’s not necessarily rational that we feel such fury, it’s certainly human. Unfortunately, when the president of a country hates things in a special way, some pretty bad things can happen — thankfully, most of the bartenders below don’t hate whole countries.
SEIJI
Where he presides: KGB Bar, East Village
Favorite drink: Stoli, neat
Well it depends on who we’re dealing with. Sometimes evil can be good, right? My goodness is my own goodness. But for others it can be evil. In fact, there’s a very famous book written about this. Beyond Good and Evil, right? Hahahahah. [Ed. Well, who is your axis of Beyond Good and Evil? Nietszche, Hume, Sartre, what?] Ah, touché! No comment.
EDDIE and TAMRA
Where they preside: Fubar, Midtown East
Favorite drinks: Jack Daniel’s and Jameson, respectively
[Eddie:] That’s easy! The Red Sox, cranberry sauce, and mint jelly. I fucking despise mint jelly.
[Tamra:] I hate rude drunk people, drunk assholes that dispute the tab, and bitches running around town with daddy’s money. Especially the ones from F.I.T!
JAY
Where he presides: #1 Chinese, East Village
Favorite drink: The Geisha — a new vodka pomegranate concoction I made up the other day
I’ll tell you my axis of evil. I’d say ignorance, over-confidence, and greedy aggression. In axis form that pretty much sums up George W. Bush, right?
MIKE
Where he presides: Blue and Gold, East Village
Favorite drink: Budweiser
People who get upset when you ask them to be quiet outside, celebrities and pretty girls who act surprised to be charged full price for drinks, and customers who feel like they should be entertained by the bartender.
VERONICA
Where she presides: Big Bar, East Village
Favorite drink: Italian red wine
I hate abusive, obnoxious or disruptive behavior. You can’t get away from it in here if someone decides to act up. It’s a small space. In a bigger bar, the bad energy doesn’t dominate the room so much. I hate dealing with people like that. Hate it.
ANTONY
Where he presides: Doherty’s, Midtown East
Favorite drink: Guinness
George W. Bush, inconsistency in the subways, and really messy drunks who get plowed and smoke in the bar. Wait, actually get rid of Bush and replace him with the mornings in my axis of evil. I’m not a morning person. I really hate the mornings.
SEIJI
Where he presides: KGB Bar, East Village
Favorite drink: Stoli, neat
Well it depends on who we’re dealing with. Sometimes evil can be good, right? My goodness is my own goodness. But for others it can be evil. In fact, there’s a very famous book written about this. Beyond Good and Evil, right? Hahahahah. [Ed. Well, who is your axis of Beyond Good and Evil? Nietszche, Hume, Sartre, what?] Ah, touché! No comment.
EDDIE and TAMRA
Where they preside: Fubar, Midtown East
Favorite drinks: Jack Daniel’s and Jameson, respectively
[Eddie:] That’s easy! The Red Sox, cranberry sauce, and mint jelly. I fucking despise mint jelly.
[Tamra:] I hate rude drunk people, drunk assholes that dispute the tab, and bitches running around town with daddy’s money. Especially the ones from F.I.T!
JAY
Where he presides: #1 Chinese, East Village
Favorite drink: The Geisha — a new vodka pomegranate concoction I made up the other day
I’ll tell you my axis of evil. I’d say ignorance, over-confidence, and greedy aggression. In axis form that pretty much sums up George W. Bush, right?
MIKE
Where he presides: Blue and Gold, East Village
Favorite drink: Budweiser
People who get upset when you ask them to be quiet outside, celebrities and pretty girls who act surprised to be charged full price for drinks, and customers who feel like they should be entertained by the bartender.
VERONICA
Where she presides: Big Bar, East Village
Favorite drink: Italian red wine
I hate abusive, obnoxious or disruptive behavior. You can’t get away from it in here if someone decides to act up. It’s a small space. In a bigger bar, the bad energy doesn’t dominate the room so much. I hate dealing with people like that. Hate it.
ANTONY
Where he presides: Doherty’s, Midtown East
Favorite drink: Guinness
George W. Bush, inconsistency in the subways, and really messy drunks who get plowed and smoke in the bar. Wait, actually get rid of Bush and replace him with the mornings in my axis of evil. I’m not a morning person. I really hate the mornings.
