Your Most Memorable St. Paddy’s Day?
by Adam BonislawskiAs if New Yorkers needed one, St. Paddy’s is the number one legitimized day for intense binge drinking and ridiculous public shenanigans (a good Irish word that last one). We all have stories of idiocy from St. Paddy’s — if we can remember them — but the tales of a New York bartender make them pale by comparison (or set the bar higher).
Ashley
Where she presides:
Favorite drink:
Hmmm, remembering them is hard in the first place — that’s the first challenge. Well, there was one where I ended up in a hot tub with a 22 year old talking about God. It was great because it was someone I wanted to hang out with. We were hanging out for like an hour and then he said, ‘wanna get in the hot tub?’ Yeah, that was probably the best one.
Shane (WITH Lola Bell)
Where he presides:
Favorite drink:
[Shane demurs, claiming that he never goes out on St. Patrick’s Day. He does, however, point out that down the bar is sitting celebrity bartendress and raconteuse extraordinaire Ms. Lola Bell. Happily, she has plenty to say about the matter, including the following:] I usually take St. Patrick’s Day off cause I’m Irish and I don’t like all these people coming in and taking over my holiday. Oh yeah, we’re all Irish, kiss me. Fuck that shit. Don’t kiss me — buy me a drink goddammit! Put on some Pogues and let’s do a jig. St. Paddy’s Day and New Year’s Eve: amateur nights every year… I’m not gonna’ wait on those people!
Sto
Where he presides:
Favorite drink:
Well, there was the year a guy came in painted green from head to toe. That was a good one. He had extra paint too — so I helped myself to some green war stripes on my face. It was kind of a half Irish, half American Indian thing I had going on. Yeah, I did pretty well that night. It’s a good night unless you have European types in the bar who don’t know how to tip.
Michael
Where he presides:
Favorite drink:
I think I got arrested on St. Patrick’s Day in Chicago. We started drinking around 10 in the morning and I think around 10 that night we were locked up for urinating in public and resisting arrest. Spent the night in jail — in the drunk tank. That was probably 12, 13 years ago. I’m more mature now. I don’t urinate in public in front of cops anymore. In Chicago when you’re resisting arrest they pull out the billy clubs.
Ousha
Where he presides:
Favorite drink:
St. Patrick’s? You mean the night everyone gets really fucked up and obnoxious? What’s not to love? Really. Sorry I can’t help you. It’s not my favorite holiday.
Joe
Where he presides:
Favorite drink:
It was three years ago and I’d already worked at another bar from nine in the morning. I come in here and the daytime bartender has served like a dozen Carbombs to these five guys. So, we had to kick them out. So, around four that morning I’m going outside with these two smaller guys and this guy comes running from down the street and just tackles them. It was one of the guys we had kicked out earlier in the afternoon. So people start throwing bottles — it’s like a riot. And this guy won’t go down. He comes charging at me and I just crack him on the skull — the only time I’ve ever hit someone at the Abbey. Then we had to pick up bottles and chase the people off because neighbors were yelling that they were going to call the cops.
Alberto
Where he presides:
Favorite drink:
St. Patrick’s Day? Oh man. I take that one off every year. Stay home — take the kids out. Know what I mean? Life’s too short.
Beer… and tequilaCrime Scene, BoweryGlenlivet 18The Abbey, WilliamsburgGrey Goose, on the rocks,with some lemon6’s and 8’s, LESDewar’s on the rocksSpike Hill, WilliamsburgJameson, rocksPatio Bar, East VillageHeinekenBrooklyn Ale House,
WilliamsburgGuinnessTeddy’s, Williamsburg
