Your Mad Men Questions Not Really Answered

08/14/2009 2:54 PM |


In preparation for the third season premiere of Mad Men this Sunday, I not only spent 3 hours changing the outfit of my Mad Men avatar, but I also put together this handy run down of the questions that will most likely pop into your head come Sunday evening at approximately 9:57 as you remember all the crazy things that happened when you were last watching the Greatest Show Ever.

What year will it be in the Mad Men universe?
Since last season ended in October 1962 during the Cuban Missile Crisis, with a newly pregnant Betty Draper, I suspect the new season will start sometime in the spring of 1963. According to everyone who has anything to do with the show, it’s a “closely guarded secret,” but c’mon: show about the 60s? I predict the Kennedy Assassination falls somewhere in episodes 4-6.

Will Don be working at Sterling Cooper? Will there even be a Sterling Cooper?
Duck Phillips, whose role in SC I never fully understood, somehow drunkenly orchestrates the sale of the agency to the bigger British conglomerate of Putnam, Powell & Lowe as a kind of power grab. In the one of the final scenes of the second season, Don Draper Don Drapers all of his plans, asserting he won’t be part of an agency that won’t let him spin coercive soliloquies to clients, and walks. So, we don’t know and we don’t know. But there will be some kind of ad agency with all the same (and some new!) ad men and gals, so don’t worry – you’ll get your Joan fix. And speaking of Joan…

Did Joan dump her assface of a fiance?
God I love Joan. Anyway, we learned last season that Joan was 31, engaged to a doctor named Greg, and was really into doing work outside of the secretarial pool that involved reading TV scripts. Then a vengeful Kinsey told everyone she was 31, the thought provoking work was given to a man, and Dr. Greg rapes her on the floor of Don’s office. I suspect Joan and Dr. Greg will not end up happily ever after.

Don and Betty: Still married? Still pregnant?
Speaking of ladies, Betty had one hell of a season. After replacing her psychiatrist with riding lessons, and kicking Don out of the house after she learned he was doin’ it with one of his lady clients (again), her dad has to go and have a stroke (again). Don escorts Betty back to her childhood home where her dad mistakes Betty for her late mother and kinda gropes her a lot. And Don and Betty have sex, which confuses Don and makes a baby. The season ends with Betty inviting Don home and nuclear war not starting, so I predict the season will start with a mad preggers Betty wondering (again) what the hell she is doing with her life and how she ended up where she is. And smoking.

Whatever happened with Peggy’s kid?
What with breaking glass ceilings in the advertising world and getting a stylish flip ‘do and giving her kid away, Peggy had a busy season. She took over Freddy Rumsen’s office, started listening to Bob Dylan and told Pete she didn’t love him and that she gave away his kid. So I don’t think Peggy’s kid ever comes back into the picture in any major way—that is unless somehow Trudy Campbell somehow gets her WASPy hands on him.

Is Pete still throwing chickens out of windows? Or is he pretty much over that?
Prior to confessing his love for Peggy, Campbell lost his father in the worst plane crash of 1962, went on a business trip to LA with Don (only for Don to disappear and wind up at the the house of the real Missus Draper) and had to deal with his baby-crazy wife forcing the idea of adoption on him, what with her being a barren Karen (Ed- Yes, Lauren, those two words rhyme) and all. To vent his frustrations one day he comes home and throws his dinner out the window. It’s barely a plot point, but it was kind of hilarious and worth mentioning. I suspect Campbell will be in a somewhat higher position at the new Sterling Cooper, but not ahead of Don and certainly does not carry the kind of sway he wants.

What are those other guys’ names? What happened with them…one maybe is gay?
Oh those sexist, racist, drunken Mad Boys who roam the halls of Sterling Cooper. You probably confuse their names a little bit like I do, but here’s who they are based on a distinguishing physical attribute:
Cosgrove – He’s blond and baby faced and he’ll probably continue to be blond and baby faced.
Harry Crane – He has glasses and is the head of Cooper Sterling’s television division. That will become more and more important, and I suspect he will become more and incompetent.
Paul Kinsey – He’s the one with the beard, and also the “progressive one,” so expect him to make a comment on the Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have a Dream Speech” and/or an anti Vietnam comment sometime in the later half of the season.
Salvatore Romano – He’s the closeted gay! With the loveless marriage! That will be addressed (probably) during the season (hopefully).

One Comment

  • Additionally, I predict that Roger Sterling will drink many drinks, and I will count down the days until my hair turns a brilliant shimmery white like John Slattery’s.