Noel Gallagher is a Shell of Himself

09/01/2009 1:21 PM |


I swore up and down that I was not going to write about Noel Gallagher leaving Oasis. It is almost 2010 for fuck’s sake, and there’s a new Jay-Z record floating around the internet, not to mention new stuff from the Mountain Goats, Girls, the Dodos and Yo La Tengo, so no reasonable person should care about news regarding a washed-up, attention-starved rock band that hasn’t mattered in more than a decade.

But now Arts Beat has shed some light on what exactly caused him to quit the band, and it’s pathetic.

In the statement, Mr. Gallagher, the group’s lead guitarist and main songwriter, said that he had been “forced to leave” Oasis, adding that “the level of verbal and violent intimidation towards me, my family, friends and comrades has become intolerable” and “the lack of support and understanding from my management and band mates” left him with no other option.

So, yeah. He quit because he was scared of his bandmates and unable/willing to stand up for himself. God, 1997 Noel Gallagher would have beaten the shit out of 2009 Noel Gallagher.

13 Comment

  • sorry he never got to beat the shit out of you Mike

  • that’s it, i quit the blog. you are intimidating me!

  • Great article Mike, why write about something you clearly dont know anything about….hasnt mattered in more than a decade….like you said mate, you would rather listen to that musical genius jay-z…twat

  • Noel is god. You Mike are a p.c. cunt with shit taste in music. I hope you get AIDS and die!

  • “There are new records from Jay-Z, dodos, yo la tengo..”. . .. this is why Oasis doesn’t matter? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH I have never typed this before because this has never been true, but: LOL. Oasis means a great deal to some of us — your opinion is just that, yours. And its my opinion that you are a joke. … Jay-Z? He’s been making the same record since 1997. My favourite line of his is “We pop bottles on the white house lawn..” No, he doesn’t. And never will. And why would one want to drink champagne on the white house lawn? What about Jay-Z is good? Why are you comparing a tired old rapper to a rock and roll band, anyway? Is it because you just looooove dreaming of a Bentley and Beyonce’s white-featured black arse in your face? Do you wish you had a “Rollie”? AHAHHA

    You stupid cunt. HAHAHHAHA

  • Oasis fans are just about as sensitive as Adam Lambert fans.

  • In defense of the wankers, I’ve never really gotten Jay-Z or why white nerdy dudes fall over themselves to praise him.

  • (And I say that as a white nerdy dude myself, obviously.)

  • Wait, why are we discussing Jay-Z and Oasis as if they’re somehow diametrically opposed on the pop music continuum? Let’s not forget that this happened:

  • I thought that happened because Noel ran his mouth about Jay-Z headlining at Glasto, and Jay did that to be sort of cheeky (which is pretty awesome, but I’m still not excited about The Blueprint 3 floating around the internet). I didn’t think of it as a we-are-one sort of gesture.

  • yeah that is why he did it…butchered it too..still the best part of the gig…what does that say about that cunt jay-z when the best part of his own gig is ripping off an oasis tune

  • haters, Oasis was better than the Beatles.

  • but Blur was better than Oasis