Adam Lambert Performs Live at American Music Awards, Discovers Perfect, Awful Middle-Ground Between Marilyn Manson and Madonna

11/23/2009 9:51 AM |

Last night’s American Music Awards closed with Adam Lambert‘s first television performance since he came in second place behind Kris Allen on the last season of American Idol, and it was everything you expected it to be (horribly over-produced musical theater schlock) with an added bonus of gaysploitation and tired, early-90s, Madonna-style reliance on sexuality for shock value. First he walks a man on a leash, then he shoves his crotch in some dude’s face, then he has his own junk grabbed by a woman, then he does something I don’t even understand to a woman’s crotch (3:02), before finally engaging in the most awesomely exaggerated stage kiss I’ve ever seen (3:32). It’s like “I Kissed A Girl,” but by a gay dude, which maybe makes it a little less offensive, but also way dumber.