Dear friend of The L Ben Greenman has gone and given l’affaire Tiger Woods his customary musical theater treatment. As is the sad case with most modern scandal, things are way more musical theater than they are operatic. A sample:
ELIN WOODS:
Would you rather that I scream at you
While brandishing a knife
Or grab one of your golf clubs
And try to end your life?
TIGER WOODS:
If I have a choice
I’d say a knife, O.K.?
The golf clubs are my livelihood
I use them every day
ELIN WOODS grabs a club.
TIGER WOODS:
Not that one! You need
Better club-head speed.