Governor Paterson to Conclude Two-Year Statewide Pity Party This Afternoon

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02/26/2010 2:28 PM |

Well, that happened.

  • Well, that happened.

So, having exhausted the pity of voters sympathetic to the plight of a career party hack elevated to the office of Governor—where he talked about his coke use and affairs, fumbled an annoying Senate appointment, watched a guy in a toga orchestrate a coup in the already dysfunctional Senate, boldly brought a quixotic gay marriage vote to the floor, dug in for a horrific budget crisis not of his own making, endured a shadow campaign from a more powerful intraparty rival, waited out rumors and false alarms, I mean jesus christ—David Paterson, who seems like a nice guy, really he does, announces he won’t run for governor when his current term is up at the end of the year.

So, meet the next governor of New York state, Andrew Cuomo. He used to be a real dick, but he’s not anymore, and he’s pretty good at his current job. Plus his father was the last governor of New York to not use the power of his office to silence a domestic abuse charge leveled against one of his close aides (or at least fail to stop such a thing from happening), or to fuck whores, or to be George Pataki. So there’s that.

If this investigation into his office gets hairy enough that Paterson resigns between now and the Andrew Cuomo administration, your in-the-meantime governor will be former MTA head Richard Ravitch, last seen playing the villain in Style Wars.