The Republican Party: Basically Just a Confused Gay Teenager

02/19/2010 4:23 PM |

jesus is gay

Does the Word of God (the part about gay people making older white men uncomfortable about the time they let their eyes linger too long in appreciation of Matthew McConaughey) trump the Role of Politics in the Republican Party? The answer is no.

Many Some One (?) of you may have realized it’s CPAC time (!), the annual gathering of conservatives at which they conspire to destroy America’s liberals and make hilarious jokes. Some of you may also know that there are, in fact, conservative homosexuals.

These conservative gays have a group called GOProud, who paid for a table at the conference. When other conservatives—the Jesus types—found out, they all threatened to boycott and withdraw their Jesus dollars. To their credit, CPAC organizers refused to cave in to the power of Straight Rich Jesus and maintained GOProud’s spot.

And then nothing really happened. As Mother Jones reports, everybody showed up and made nice, with gay conservatives being all “torture this,” small government that,” right alongside religious conservatives. Truly, a large tent was pitched.

(All of this despite the fact that Jesus is obviously gay.)

2 Comment

  • Really? I can only hope that this means some of those conservatives may have finally realized how pathetic their actions are. A girl can hope right? I am really excited for Miguel Santana’s new book “The Mari

  • Unfortunately, some very, very nasty things were said on the podium by some conservative republicans against GOProud and gay folk.
    Very Christian of them.