So, the dude who owned the deathcar bombmobile that “shut down” Union Square had simply “parked his car” and gone to a concert. The gas cans in his car—which was a goddamn fucking Cutlass Ciera, which is suspicious enough—were there because he mows a lot of lawns.
And that’s it, folks, we’ve won the War on Terror. Except for this summer, which will be full of this kind of shit. Also, good morning.
Sad, but true. This summer will be ridiculous.