Crappy-Ass Williamsburg Tennis Courts Soon to Be Less Crappy

07/29/2010 12:44 PM |

Ilie Nastase

  • Early jock hipster, Ilie Nastase.

Throughout the month of June I had the good fortune of playing a lot of tennis at the McCarren Park courts in Williamsburg (a tennis-loving friend was in town for a visit and the only way we can talk about our feelings is while drinking cold beer after having played tennis). I think I played over a dozen times in the space of three weeks, and holy shit are those courts ever in bad shape.

The surfaces are so rough and cracked that our bright new shiny balls were reduced to puckered brown husks after an hour and a half of play, two thirds their original size. (There is one good court, the one closest to Berry, but that was resurfaced by a bunch of old Polish dudes, who are always using it. Kurva!)

So it is with great pleasure that I can tell you the six remaining crappy McCarren courts will be receiving a full resurfacing thanks to a $50,000 grant from the United States Tennis Association, who’ve rewarded the old Polish men for showing so much initiative and raising the money themselves to resurface court seven (ok, it wasn’t just old Polish dudes, credit goes to an organization called McCarren Tennis). Yup, once again in this dangerously socialist nation, private money steps in where public money cannot.

P.S. I’m looking for people to play tennis with (since my pal’s back in England). I’m about a 3.8 on the USTA ranking. Anyone interested?