Come On You Apes, You Wanna Live Forever?

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08/03/2010 9:56 AM |

According to the future, which will be portrayed in tomorrow’s free viewing of Starship Troopers at SummerScreen, we will soon live in a world that is rid with fascism, deceiving war propaganda, and giant Lower-East-Side-apartment roach aliens that take many machine gun pellets to die. Oh, but don’t worry, everyone has impeccably beautiful skin and chiseled features.

Starship Troopers is the strikingly realistic account of a boy who has it all, but puts himself in terrible danger of being torn to shreds by psycho aliens just so he can have sex with a Wild Things-era Denise Richards, which is….well….yeah, that’s about right. This is one of the more realistic plot lines of our lineup this year.

Starship Troopers is one of those movies in which the obscene and blunt violence takes you by the hand and leads you through the strange emotional journey of being uncomfortable, then giggly, uncomfortable again because the aliens look like vaginas, and then forgetting any feelings at all and asking yourself “Hey, why does that blonde guy look like an albino Gary Busey?” Father Busey didn’t let his son tan I suppose, or perhaps his skin wasn’t as radiant as the other actors’ and he had to – oh good lord Neil Patrick Harris just touched that pulsating vagina bug, now I’m uncomfortable again.

As always, please arrive at the McCarren Park Ballfields (on N12th and Beford) at 6 pm to check out the live music from Grooms and Food Stamps.
Enter our Fandango Contest, and drink some Sixpoint and eat all the San Loco, Asia Dog, and Porchetta you want, because according to the future, all you get to eat is pink mashed potatoes.

And for after the movie, Pete’s Candy Store is having an after party with $3 pints of Six Point Sweet Action and a $9 Panini and Six Point special for the first 50 Pete’s cardholders. You can pick up your Pete’s card at the SummerScreen front desk at the entrance to the park.

So Come on you Apes! Do you Want to Live Forever?!

Oh, and vagina bug:

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