Rat-Battling City Opossums Go Rogue (City to Now Introduce Cyborg Bobcats to Eat Opossums)

09/20/2010 1:44 PM |

robot cat

  • Our only hope, really.

Back in 2007, the city introduced a bunch of opossums into Brooklyn to combat rats, the (absolutely moronic) premise being that once the opossums had eaten all the rats, they’d start to die off (thanks Councilman Domenic Recchia, for being so dumb). That didn’t really work. And now, of course, there’s a plague of opossums. Opossums are nocturnal marsupials who smell funny and get into the garbage; they have 50 teeth and like to cavort on golf courses. Oh, and they’re no good at managing vermin populations. The only logical step for dealing with this situation is to introduce cyborg bobcats into Brooklyn. I, for one, welcome our new cyborg bobcat overlords.