Our National Nightmare is Over: Kickball Season is Finished

10/04/2010 11:56 AM |


  • Everything is terrible forever.

“This is really going to inspire me to do some great things that are not even kickball related. For instance, there are a lot of girls here who are not pregnant who very well likely will be after tonight.”

So said Priest Fontaine to the Brooklyn Paper after his team, The John Cougar Mellencamps, won the Williamsburg Kickball League trophy on Sunday, defeating the Pony Boys. So now, along with the glories of cooler weather and the start of hockey season, I can add “the end of kickball season” to the many reasons why I like fall. We now have at least seven months of a McCarren Park free of crypto-jocks dressing like 12 year olds, simulating gym class in order to have sex later that night. (I’m going to go there right now and write “I hate kickball” a hundred times in my journal.)