An Amateur Investigation Into This Year’s Coachella Rumors

01/10/2011 3:01 PM |


Pictured at the right, folks, is the latest “could be real but might be fake” Coachella 2011 poster to have hit the Internet (the first dates back to just four months after the last festival, which, note to fraudulent poster-makers everywhere, is too soon for promoters to already have the next one booked). Speculating who will play the festival, set for April 15-17 in Indio, California, has become an art into itself, with more rumors swirling on message boards than birds plummeting to their death in Arkansas. With Coachella’s official announcement anticipated any day now, we figured we’d try to get to the bottom of things right here and now, using not insider sources, band publicists or fortune telling, but Google. Below are six of the most prominent rumors followed by our crackerjack investigational findings:

Arcade Fire: ‘Cause where else do you play after selling out two nights at Madison Square Garden? On top of that, they’ve confirmed a spring 2011 tour and have gotten cozy with Coachella promoter Goldenvoice, as the band’s appearances in ’05 and ’07 each marked a major stepping stone in their career. It only makes sense that ’11 would see them taking the final step to the top of the bill.

Daft Punk: People have been on their knees begging for them since their last appearance at the fest five years ago, and Coachella is typically eager to please. One can assume the trip-up the last few years has been their lack of new material, but now they’ve got that TRON soundtrack to promote and have announced plans for a summer tour in support of it. It’s now or never.

The White Stripes: Coachella’s known for spotlighting some big band reunion every year (oh, hey, the Velvet Underground is also rumored, which wouldn’t be awesome or anything), and a press release went out in April of 2010, calling a White Stripes reunion “imminent.” According to ol’ Jack, he doesn’t think “that [Meg’s] anxiety exists anymore,” suggesting the reason behind the band’s extended hiatus is no longer an issue. Thing is, he’s been saying this for years.

The Strokes: Since bassist Nikolai Fraiture announced last week that The Strokes are down for a new album in March and a subsequent world tour, chatter about an alleged Coachella confirmation has been all over Twitter. A majority of said chatter is in Spanish for some unknown reason, but still.

Radiohead The Internet would have us believe that the new Radiohead album will be released this year, positioning them as likely lineup toppers. Not so fast though: Anonymous blogger Monklish, who’s built a reputation for accurately predicting (leaking?) the fest’s lineup for years, does not include Radiohead on his list, or at least as of December 29. Deep breath, there’s more: They already headlined in 2004, and Coachella doesn’t have a history of repeating headliners. Read it and weep.

Kanye: He’s done Bonnaroo and Lollapalooza twice. There’s not much left. That said, one can expect his ego to not handle anything other than a headlining slot.

This, also, because it made me laugh:


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