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There is a wickedly readable article running over at Salon right now, called “Snapshots from a Rock ‘n’ Roll Marriage.” The writer, Denise Grollmus, was married to Black Keys drummer Patrick Carney for a couple years until they divorced in 2009. In the piece, Grollmus reflects on the entirety of their relationship, using seven different objects (a Feelies record, a futon, a t-shirt, etc.) to help form the narrative. It’s done really well, and for the most part, any jabs being taken at anyone are subtle. There’s one part, though, where she talks about the other guy from the Black Keys, singer/guitarist Dan Auerbach, and she pulls no punches. Not even close:

At the time, Patrick also began a project with a guy named Dan Auerbach. Dan and Pat had played music a couple of times in high school. I knew Dan because he lived across the street from my ex-boyfriend. Dan was a soccer jock who idolized Dave Matthews and G. Love and the Special Sauce. Bands I despised. He was a real macho type who walked around town like a bulldog. He listened to Howard Stern, called his girlfriends “babe” and referred to indie pop as “gay.” I never did like Dan much. And I know he never liked me. He and Patrick were complete opposites with little in common except for one thing: insatiable ambition.

Wowowowow, can you believe it? After all these years, when I thought I knew everything there was to know about them, I find out that, ugh, I can’t even type it… the name of the band wasn’t simply G Love and Special Sauce at all, but G Love and the Special Sauce? It’s almost too much to bear, right? Oh, wait, nevermind. Phew…