New Study Suggests You Hitch a Ride with Your Grandparents Whenever Possible

09/14/2011 9:49 AM |

The face of safety.

  • The face of safety.

Anyone who has ever spent some time in Florida or been caught behind a massive sedan groaning 15 miles under the speed limit knows that when you finally zoom up to pass the offending automobile and let its driver know who’s boss, that person is usually a little old lady smiling genially at nothing in particular, and you can’t really do much but mutter to yourself about how there should be some law keeping old people off the road. Still furious, you go on the Pediatrics website (what else would you do?) and find the results of their new awesome study, which found that children may be safer when their grandparents are driving. Oh.

Researchers reviewed data on 11,859 children involved in car accidents from 2003 through 2007. They also interviewed the parents of 1,302 injured children. Though grandparents were the drivers in 9.5 percent of the accidents, they accounted for only 6.6 percent of the injuries. Scientists concluded, after controlling for various factors like severity of the crash, seat belts, and the type of vehicle, that children were at risk about half as much when their grandparents were driving than when their parents were at the wheel. No one really knows why.

In conclusion, ban anyone under 65 from driving and mandate early bird specials at all NYC restaurants. Seems fair.