- “I’ll keep Jesus, you keep your potato pancakes.”
“Do you ever get sad around Christmas time because you don’t celebrate Christmas?” is a question I’ve been asked, inevitably, every year out of years I can remember being alive. But no, I’m not sad. It’s not worth trying to give a false equivalence to Hanukkah during Christmas. The “Festival of Lights” isn’t even a high holy day, and no one can even agree on one way to spell it, for Christ’s sake. But at least we can take joy in kitsch, and Hanukkah kitsch is some of the best kitsch around. For those of you whose inboxes aren’t filled with Judaism-related chain mail forwarded to you by your grandmother, here is a brief introduction to the best of this internet genre, after the jump.
1) The B-Boyz – “Menorah Hearts”
What else could be at the top of this list other than three adorable little kids rapping about lighting menorahs over a Gym Class Heroes remix? The B-Boyz video production is also top notch, and even features matching fedoras and light sabers. Lil’ Max, B-Ballin’ and J-Kobe are keeping Hanukkah real (real cute).
2) The Shlomones – “The Rocky Hora Chanukah Song”
The self-proclaimed “World’s greatest Jewish Rock Band!” consists of five middle aged guys having the time of their lives in black leather jackets and mullet wigs. “The Rocky Hora Chanukah Song” is a parody of Rocky Horror’s “The Time Warp” and gets help from a stage full of kids performing choreographed dance moves.
3) The Maccabeats – “Candlelight”
It’s a couple of years old, but an internet classic regardless. Split-screen a capella at its finest, as well as an historical reenactment of Maccabees vs. Greeks.
4) Ein Prat Fountainheads – “I’ve Got a Feeling”
Wait, another group of people made another split-screen a cappella Hanukkah song? Yes, yes they did.
5) The Gay Men’s Chorus of Los Angeles – “Chanukah in Santa Monica”
For every time you see that homophobic Rick Perry campaign video, watch this three times and feel better.
6) David Rael – “Your Stocking’s Filled With Candy But A Pencil Sharpener’s Handy”
Hanukkah gets the solo piano treatment (with some trombone and bass) from a British dude who just wants to spread the truth about the holiday. It’s not eight nights of nice gifts—it’s eight nights of shit chatchkes from Staples or Office Max that your parents think will help you succeed.
7) Aish.com – “Chanukah Jewish Rock of Ages”
This is a “professional” rock medley about Hanukkah. The “pros” know how to rock Hammer pants.
8) Jon Stewart & Stephen Colbert Sing Hannukah Songs
Jon Stewart schools Stephen Colbert in his “not least unfavorite time of year.” But Colbert “believes in Jesus Christ, so it’s a real non-starter.”