Twitter Crowdsources the Real Truth of Petraeus Resignation

11/12/2012 11:40 AM |

When you hear that the head of the CIA is resigning because of an extramarital affair, even the least conspiracy-minded person raises an eyebrow. The timing is odd, the reason is flimsy, the position of top spy is too tantalizing not to wonder about. But the farther you go out onto the fringes in both directions, the more exciting the explanations get (which is sort of sweet! This scandal is bringing the country together after a brutal election cycle).

The most vanilla version is that Petraeus is avoiding testifying about Benghazi before Congress, for fear of exposing the TRUTH. Interestingly, both right and left wingers believe some version of this. Debbie Harris believes it fervently, and is reaching out to our nation’s most trusted truth hounds to enlist them to her cause.

Another theory is that he is somehow involved in voter fraud. Oh, and that our president is a shape-shifter.

RU fooled or just “duct taped”? I wonder.

Israel something something:

Which has endangered our female spies abroad somehow:

No, no, it’s the N.R.O. aka the National Reconnaissance Office, aka the spy satellite people.

And lord knows you can’t get into the NRO without also considering HAARP and the FEMA death camps.

Of course, there’s always this explanation:

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