Nobody Got Laid at The Armory Show This Weekend

03/12/2013 10:43 AM |


We like to scour Craigslist during the art fairs. There’s something about a shopping mall for art that turns people on, and that fertile, sexy ground placed before us makes our job easy. We often find a bacchanalian chorus of missed connections, personal encounters, and all types of insipid passion. With this year’s 2013 Armory Show though, the postings were slim.

Sure, the trumpets of desire were tooted, but the songs were flat, deflated, and they were often sung by…your aunt and uncle. That’s right, most of the postings were made by middle-aged men and women in need of platonic dates to the fair. Nobody wanted to get laid! That’s not sexy, and we’re not used to that. Still, we managed to find some gems within these chaste offerings.

Men Seeking Women

This “Who wants to go to an art show?” guy cropped out two ladies he’s cradling on each arm. Then, he reposted this two more times with different pictures. Here’s the one with his cat. Here’s the one where he’s actually wearing a shirt.

“Novice seeking Art Show companion” wants to “discover art” at The Armory Show, but only at Pier 92. That’s not difficult to do when you’re surrounded by hundreds of artworks at one time.

This m4w wants art and heavy petting to get out of his chores. How responsible!

Strictly Platonic
Down to stroll.

Casual Encounters
This guy got drunk at some after parties and wants to kiss on someone. Aw.

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