Here's Proof That the Media Elite Are Some of the Worst People In the World

09/04/2013 2:55 PM |


  • Andy Rivera c/o

Here are some things I learned from the New York magazine article “Media Elites Are Making Twitter Accounts for Their Babies:”


1) Lots of media elite name their children Harper.

2) A child’s twitter popularity corresponds closely, though not exactly, with its parents (for example, a parent with 50,000 followers might have a child with 6,000, whereas a parent with 330 followers probably has a child with, like, 1 follower).

3) Media elite are strangely comfortable adopting the writing style of an infant, and also comfortable explaining their writing process by saying things like, “As a writer, it occurred to me that it’d be very funny to talk in her voice about things that are going on.”

4) Kids are so boring and don’t do anything interesting that the only way that parents can keep from killing themselves is to create parody twitter accounts.

5) All parents—even members of the media elite—feel like it’s ok to share information about their offspring’s bowel movements.

So, the thing is, I sort of hate to generalize about large groups of people, even when those groups of people are parents or so-called media elite—even then! But articles like this kind of make me understand why childless people think parents are terrible, or why people who live their lives without twitter don’t really understand it’s appeal (“Who cares about the stupid thoughts you’re thinking anyway?” “Oh, I don’t know…maybe over 700 people care! God, Mom!”). It’s nothing new really, parents acting out their obnoxious impulses through their children, but it’s just that when these parents are members of the media, um, elite (I guess the Today Show is elite? unclear in this decade, but whatever) it’s uncomfortably public. So while it’s easy to laugh at these twitter accounts and chalk them up to parents being parents, it’s also important to remember not to judge all parents by this awful example. The parents in the New York article are truly elite. Elite, insufferable examples of how to embarrass your kids basically from birth.

Follow Kristin Iversen on twitter @kmiversen, and NO, she would never in a million years create twitter accounts for her children