Ask a Cabbie: Do You Have Any Roommate Horror Stories?

05/06/2015 7:45 AM |



Hailed in: TriBeCa
Hails from: Michigan

I’m having a roommate horror story now. Will my last name be published? [No.] Good. Because my roommate is an asshole. Nothing too unusual: He eats my food; leaves his stuff everywhere; he’s always late with rent and utilities. I hate him. Luckily, I don’t see him much, since I work nights and he works days, so we don’t really cross paths. [How did you two come to live together?] Craigslist. That’s it, really. My old roommate moved out suddenly, so I needed to get someone right away, and this guy was the first guy who could do it. I can’t wait until I can afford to ditch the asshole.


Hailed in: Washington Square Park
Hails from: Virginia

In college, yeah. I was in a frat, which was bad enough, but my bedroom door was side-by-side with the bathroom door, and I’d always have drunk guys stumbling into my room because they thought it was the bathroom. One guy walked in on me jerking off. The worst experience was: A guy got so hammered that he came into my room around three in the morning, and he started peeing on my backpack, because he thought it was the toilet. It woke me up, and when I screamed at him he just barfed all over the floor. He was fairly good about it­­—he got me another bag and cleaned everything up the next morning—but, ugh, it was so gross. I hated that house.


Hailed in: Times Square
Hails from: Glasgow

This isn’t really a horror story, but ages ago I had a flatmate for about a year and I was kind of in love with his girlfriend. It wasn’t a crush—I was actually really into her, so it was awful to have her walking around in her sexy sleep clothes, or to see her in a towel after showering. I mean, it was great, but she wasn’t my girlfriend, so I was jealous and trying not to stare. The walls were really thin, so you’d hear them fucking. It was just a crappy time, especially since I wasn’t really into the girl I was seeing then. When they [the roommate and the girl] broke up I tried to get her number, but she wasn’t having it.


Hailed in: Fort Greene
Hails from: Queens

I’ve been fairly lucky. Since before I got married, I roomed with my brother, as I did growing up, so we were pretty used to each other. A friend of mine, though, she had the worst story. Her roommate was a big cokehead, and one time she went home and he had taken their TV to sell it and buy drugs. Not only was that super annoying, but she was really freaked out that he would start stealing her stuff or robbing her. She moved out right after that. I don’t know what happened to the roommate. I don’t think she ever got the TV back.