Between the literal and figurative bloodbaths in the Sterling Cooper office, Sally’s tenuous grasp on the concept of reincarnation, Don’s new best friend Conrad Hilton, and actual maternal love coming from Betty, this episode was a doozy. Nearly every denizen of the Mad Men universe is represented, and trying to successfully recap it here would be a little silly, so I’ll make you a deal. You go watch this sucker on your own (or come to my house, we still have it on the DVR) and then come back here to discuss. Because not only did this episode give us Lois the secretary running over the foot of the new Putnam, Powell & Lowe management with a riding mower, but it also got me thinking about some of the deeper issues at hand.

To wit: Matthew Weiner must be texting his old pal David Chase or something because the last two episodes were increasingly Sopranos-esque. For me this isn’t necessarily a bad thing since I happen to love The Sopranos, but just last week a friend and I were discussing how Betty’s drug induced hallucinations during baby Gene’s birth bore a striking resemblance to many of the numerous peeks we got into Tony Soprano’s mind. Throw in some good old-fashioned carnage like we got on last night’s episode, and the similarities keep on coming. Good TV usually merits comparisons to other good TV, especially if both of the shows were helmed by the same dude. And yet, I feel like it’s more than just dream sequences and blood that is reminding me of Tony and Family.

What The Sopranos ultimately became about (most prominently in the latter half of it’s sixth and final season) was this sense of urgency that the world as Tony Soprano knew it was slipping away from him. And last night, I started to get that same feeling from Don. By having so many life changes thrown at him, something within Don is starting to crack. First, we have Don being funny. Thats right, remember during the Jai Alai episode he broke the ant farm and then made a joke about it? It was awesome and totally out of character. Next we have Don opening up to complete strangers—as in telling them more about himself in one conversation than he has ever told Betty in their entire marriage. Last week it was the prison guard in the maternity ward waiting room, and three episodes ago it was, as a few correctly predicted, Conrad Hilton. Sure he opened up to Rachel Menken back in Season 1, but they were doin’ it. So what is causing Don Draper to behave so un-Don Draperly?

I tend to believe that Don, aside from the fact he (SPOILER ALERT!)stole a dead guy’s identity and has been living another man’s life for the last decade or so, truly fears and opposes change. So when you have an episode devoted to further shakeups at Sterling Cooper, be it in the form of yet another Putnam, Powell & Lowe underling being sent in to keep tabs on him and his colleagues, or the loss of an important office fixture like Joan, you can see that Don’s facade, or rather Dick Whitman’s facade as Don Draper, almost starting to crack. The last time this happened, Don ended up on off the grid in California, and Sterling and Cooper sold the company. Who the hell knows what’ll happen this time around. But I do suspect that there will be some truly compelling episodes from television’s re-crowned Best Drama as Don continues to lose sight of the world he once knew.

The 61st Prime Time Emmy Awards air tonight, and you should probably watch ’em. Sure, the unending spectacle of Awards Shows are derivative, predictable, and serve to further glorify Hollywood opulance while the rest of us mortals suffer without jobs or healthcare. However, I tend to believe that this form of facile escapism is awesome. And if you don’t agree, I present five worthy reasons to convince you after the jump.

1. Neil Patrick Harris: Last week’s article in New York Magazine was a glowing tribute to his versatility and charm as an actor, so I won’t restate that here. But in case you missed the story, or his gigs as host of the TV Land Awards (really, they exist) and this year’s Tonys, just know he kinda excels in the role of Award Show host. Plus you know you secretly love How I Met Your Mother and this will get you all jazzed up for tomorrow’s season premiere. And yes, I love it and I’m not ashamed.

2. Tina Fey: This time last year she was everywhere with her freakishly good Sarah Palin impression. In fact, she was so omnipresent in our lives we feared the inevitable overexposure. But admit you totally miss her right now, and those 3 second spots in The Invention of Lying ads are not holding you over. So watch tonight when she makes her way through another funny and self-deprecating acceptance speech, ’cause you won’t see her again until the 30 Rock premiere on October 15th.

3. It’s something else to watch while you’re recording Mad Men so you can fast forward through the commercials later. I have a theory that the increasingly ambiguous promos at the end of the last two Mad Men episodes are meant to throw us off the JFK Assassination episode trail. Which means that when that episode does finally air, you won’t want to suffer through any commercial breaks, no matter how many cutesy ad facts AMC may throw in to spice them up. Tonight could be the night, so you’ll want to prepared.

4. You’ll better understand all the blogs’ recaps tomorrow. Hey, remember how you felt like jackass last Monday when you hadn’t seen Kanyegate the night before? Don’t let that happen again! Tune in to any and all live telecasts featuring a giant room full of narcissistic people, because who knows what they will say and do to get themselves attention.

5.You really don’t care about the Giants game, do you? Look, Eli got his $97 Million for a reason. And that reason happened during the 2007 Superbowl, so really there’s no point in watching tonight’s game. And if you’re interested in catching a glimpse of the Cowboys’ new stadium, well, save yourself some time because we already blogged about it! Just do me a solid and watch the Emmys, mmkay?

Photo credit: Cliff Lipson/CBS ©2009 CBS Broadcasting Inc.

So as I predicted, Betty has the baby! I may have been wrong about the date, and she may have been wrong about the sex, but welcome to the world, little Eugene Scott Draper. Shit is gonna get CRAZY.

Before Betty goes into labor, she and Don meet with Miss Farrell, Sally’s teacher, who tells them that Sally has been acting out and getting into fights with a classmate. The Drapers admit this could be because of the recent and, one assumes, never discussed death of Grandpa Gene. Betty is visibly uncomfortable during this scene, possibly because it turns out the girl Sally was fighting with is overweight a la Betty in her childhood, but probably because she’s like 17 months pregnant at this point and just wants the kid to get out. And also, Betty doesn’t do emotions. But apparently Miss Farrell does, because she goes into over-concern mode with Don about losing someone close at such a young age.

When Don gets back to the office he interrupts a meeting with Lane Pryce, who is insisting that the Mad Men and Boys stop spending all of PP&L’s hard earned pounds on office supplies and drinks and what not. Since you never, ever, tell Don Draper what to do, he leaves. When Pryce confronts him about it later, Don just says that creative people need booze and pens to be creative, so Pryce can suck it.

Pete bitches to Kinsey that his clients don’t make any money and Cosgrove is just sitting pretty with the A-list clientele. The account that is bothering him in particular is Admiral television manufacturers. While going over the numbers, Pete figures out that Admiral is outselling it’s competitors in cities with higher African American populations, and decides he should sell that angle to Admiral—but not before he has a cringe-inducing conversation with Hollis, the black elevator operator, about what kind of TV he owns and why. At the client meeting, Campbell suggests to Admiral that they buy ads and air time in magazines and shows specifically targeted at black audiences. The Admiral people are appalled, as are Sterling and Cooper, who chew him out for daring to try to earn money from “that” particular demographic. Pryce, who can only see dollar and pound signs is like, “Well…uhh…times are changing so if the black folk wanna spend their money, why can’t we take it?”

Meanwhile Duck Phillips is back. Yay? He calls Pete to set up a lunch since he’s at Grey now and he’s all about wooing ad men to join the company. When Pete reluctantly shows up to lunch he sees that Peggy is there, and of course is pissed. Duck accuses the two of them of having a secret relationship, but thinks the nature of it is purely business, and that when Pete ratted Rumsen out to him last season, it was so Peggy could get ahead. Because a woman can’t do anything without a man to guide the way. Pete is all, “I won’t sit here and get a free lunch with ANOTHER PERSON so good day!” And Peggy is all, “I will!” And Duck is all, “Peggy it’s your time! You are a lady and we have to listen to ladies who have ideas. And you’re a good one. Career Gals 4Eva!”

And speaking of career gals, Miss Farrell TOTALLY drunk dials Don at home to apologize (but really flirt her ass off) for how she acted in their meeting. Those two will definitely have sex later in the season.

Then Betty goes into labor, and so begin the extremely uncomfortable Betty in the hospital scenes. I say uncomfortable because I’m sure they were extremely realistic, from the drugging and hallucinating, to the bored husbands in the waiting room. Seeing Don drink whiskey with some dude who is waiting for his wife to give birth is one thing — men weren’t in there with camcorders and coaching, we realize—but seeing a confused woman all alone going through the process of bearing a child while still understanding that her husband is enough of a lout that she doesn’t trust him to just be waiting for her was unsettling to say the least. And then she just wakes up, holding the baby boy she had hoped would be a girl. Poor Betty.

Also? Poor Peggy. Because Duck’s little “it’s your time” speech got her thinking. A bit about her biological clock, and also a bit about the fact that she isn’t paid the same as the men in her position who do exactly the same thing she does and sometimes, she argues, even less. So she goes to Don when he returns to work after the birth basically to say she deserves equal pay, by law. Holler Equal Pay Act of 1963! But Don is all “Budget, can’t do it…blah.” Oh hey, remember how earlier in the episode Sterling Cooper was cutting costs? But then Pete wanted to MAKE MONEY by broadening their market, and the racist, sexist Sterling and Cooper said no?

After Betty and Baby Gene come home from the hospital, we learn that Carla has been let go, so it’s up to Betty to deal with the three kids all by herself. Cut to Betty dragging herself out of bed to tend to the crying infant. And…episode. This is not going to go well.

Hey everyone, welcome back to reality. Hope you all had nice long weekends, and that you remembered to record Mad Men because this was a nice, act-one kind of episode in which story lines are put into play, and one Sally Draper steals the show. So remember last week when I said that Betty would finally have the damn kid already? Well, I was very wrong. But more on that particular story line later as it made me cry. So first up: Jai Alai!

Campbell brings in a client/friend/fellow sniveler named Horace, whose mission in life is to replace baseball with Jai Alai as America’s favorite past time, and to spend his entire inheritance in the process. Putnam Powell and & Lowe watchdog Pryce can’t wait for the moneys to start rolling in, but Don is hesitant as the kid’s father happens to be one of Bert Cooper’s besties and he doesn’t want to just cash in and ruin the relationship. So Cooper, Pryce and Don have a meeting with the Jai Alai dude’s father, who basically says his son is an idiot, but what can he do? Hopefully he will go broke with this ridiculous plan and then become a useful member of society. After getting the go-ahead, Campbell and Don take Horace to lunch where he says if this sport fails he will blame Sterling Cooper for everything. Oh boy. Also, I’m not totally sure what Jai Alai is, but the whole time I kept picturing Blernsball from Futurama. Best part of this subplot is when Horace sends over Jai Alai equipment, and Don—in a very un-Don Draper move—smashes Pryce’s ant farm. (Ed. – Then says “Bill it to the kid, I guess,” which is awesome.)

Meanwhile, Peggy has decided to move to Manhattan, much to the chagrin of her mother. She tacks up an ad looking for a roommate in the Sterling Cooper break room, only to be pranked by a Mad Boy’s secretary with Kinsey, Crane, and Cosgrove laughing and coaching in the background. Curious how Cosgrove still jokes around with the rest of the Boys despite his hew position, while Campbell seems to have distanced himself from their chicanery. Peggy goes to mull over the failure of her ad when Joan comes in and proves once again she is the Best Lady Ever by rewriting the ad so that Peggy will actually attract potential roommates with it. Hey, remember how Peggy is supposed to be the copy writing wiz (despite her lady parts) and Joan is “just” a secretary? Watch your back, Olson.

However, one thing Peggy was right about was that stupid Patio ad campaign with the Ann Margaret look alike and Bye Bye Birdie rip off. The clients saw it and hated it. In addition to Peggy subtly gloating her way out of the meeting, the other bonus that comes from the debacle is that Sal has earned the title of Commercial Director after being tapped to direct this one. In a glimpse of Romano family home life, we see that despite her tiny nightie, Mrs R just can’t seduce her hubby. And after seeing him reenact the opening scene from Bye Bye Birdie in their bedroom, seductive dance moves and all, Sal’s wife finally realizes he’s a big ol’ homo.

In the last and most heartstring-pulling storyline of the night, Grandpa Gene knows he’s not long for this world. He tries to go over his funeral arrangements and will with Betty, who shuts him down (thought not without looking satisfied that she will be inheriting the furs). He then breaks out his World War I memorabilia to pass on to Bobby, and finally, bonds with Sally. He lets Sally drive; he sneaks her ice cream; he tells her she’s smart and can do anything. It is really quite lovely the way Sally has become his new little girl, and Grandpa Gene has become an adult in her life who seems to care about her emotional well being. So of course he has to die. And of course I have to bawl. It starts when Sally waits forlornly for Grandpa Gene in her ballet attire after school, picks up when a cop shows up at the house to deliver the bad news, and reaches a crescendo when Sally yells at the adults for making light jokes and not truly processing what Grandpa Gene’s death really means. After some more awesome acting from Kiernan Shipka (who can’t be more that what, nine?), the episode ends with a shot of Don closing up Gene’s former cot right next to the crib for future Baby Draper. Tear.

Next week… I have no idea what is supposed to happen next week based on the previews. Sally gets in trouble at school? Don is secretive? It’s the 60s and they’re ad men? See you next week when I hopefully have it all sorted out.

Where to even begin with last night’s episode? There was Sterling in blackface, Campbell doing the Charleston, Joan playing the accordion, Peggy smoking pot, and a menacing Grandpa Gene looking like he might child-abuse Sally. The four story lines are starkly different in an awesome way, and unlike in the previous episode they meld into each other somewhat seamlessly.

We open with the casting of the Ann Margaret look alike for the Patio ad mentioned last week, with Peggy rolling her eyes as the Mad Boys gawked. Campbell and Cosgrove come in to announce that Bacardi will be in first thing on Monday morning expecting approximately 11,000 pitches for their campaign, so while they and the rest of management are at Sterling’s fancy country club soiree, Peggy, Kinsey and Smitty have to come in on a Saturday.

Meanwhile, Grandpa Gene has settled in at the Drapers’, with Sally reading to him nightly from The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire. Because that is in no way allusive to the great social and political upheaval that will occur throughout the remainder of the 60s, and to all of the characters on Mad Men. Especially not when he says, “You just wait. All hell’s gonna break loose.” ANYWAY Papa Betty scares the bejeezus out of me and Sally later this episode when he looks poised to slap her over the $5 he (rightfully) suspects she stole from him. This subplot ends with Sally reading again to Grandpa, all seemingly well. I’m sure it won’t stay that way for long.

Next we have the Sterlings’ party. It is so wrong and so right and let’s just get down to it. It’s a WASPy as hell gathering held for the higher-ups at Sterling Cooper and some of their clients. Crane wears seersucker, Trudy Campbell sports another one of her choice hats, and Roger Sterling serenades a very pleased Jane Sterling, in blackface. And EVERYONE seems to be really into it. Except for Don, who after asking a content Betty if they can leave (she shuts him down), wanders inside to find a stiff drink. Instead he finds an equally bored kindred soul. They bond over their humble backgrounds while Don fixes the drinks. It is a ridiculously good scene, and that explanation in no way does it justice but…damn. Just watch it. The rest of the party is chock full of Little Important Moments that include Betty letting some creepy stranger feel her pregnant belly; a drunken Jane making a drunken ass of herself; Sterling trying to re-bond with Don and prove he’s happy with that sweet little lush, and Don not buying it; Don and Betty embracing in a meadow. As uncomfortable and racist as the party was (seriously, Blackface was still okay in 1963?), let’s get down to the awkwardness of the Dr. and Mrs. Joan dinner gathering!

Joan is just the best lady ever. She can do everything! To wit: she holds her own when stupid Jane shows up at the office dressed all shmancy and being obnoxious; she stands up to her idiot husband when he tries to cross her and Emily Post; and she can play the accordion! And yet, she somehow ended up with this asshole who even Mrs. Dr. Chief of Surgery realizes is a jackass. The party itself isn’t so interesting…surgeons, wives, roast, blah blah blah. We do find out that not only did Dr. Greg kill a man on the table (probably by accident but who knows) he also neglected to tell his kick ass wife. Ugh, he sucks. And then he makes Joan play the accordion for everyone. Leave him Joan! Marry me! It will be legal in Vermont tomorrow! Sigh.

Last but not least is Smitty, Kinsey, Peggy, Peggy’s motherly secretary, and Kinsey’s weed dealer in the Sterling Cooper Offices over the weekend. Their brainstorming session for Bacardi is weak, and after some back and forth between Kinsey and Smitty, the decide to call in some inspiration of the marijuana variety. Peggy naps in her office while they boys fishbowl Kinsey’s office (much to Mama Secretary’s disapproval), but interrupts and demands to smoke as well. Stoned Peggy is awesome, as is Kinsey and Weed Dealer reenacting their days in college glee club. But more importantly, Stoned Peggy rules. She tells Mama Secretary not to be scared for her, because she is ALL RIGHT. She CAN do this job. And she also stands up to the Mad Boys (stoned and not) all throughout this episode. Yay for Peggy and her ever growing confidence!

Wow, that was a lot. I need to go lie down, but tune in next week when Betty (hopefully) has the damn kid already.

Before we get into this disjointed and somewhat underwhelming episode, I would like to take a moment and confess how truly ecstatic I was when the ep started with the opening scene from Bye Bye Birdie. I loved this movie as a child, and I kind of can’t wait for the revival starring John Stamos, aka Uncle Jesse, to hit Broadway in September. But I digress.

The episode centers around 2 clients, and a Betty family skirmish, so let’s attack it in that order, ay? First client is Patio, which was Pepsi’s first foray in the Diet Soda world. The drink looks and sounds decidedly unappealing, but Cosgrove tasks Peggy with coming up with an ad that features an Ann-Margaret type, which of course gets the Mad Boys all excited about the prospect of a casting. Peggy tries to think of something a bit more unconventional, but Don shuts her down. So she goes out to a bar, picks up a dude, totally goes home with him and gets to third base.

Second client is Madison Square Garden, as I guess it is in 1963 that they decide to raze the above ground portion of Penn Station in order to construct the Madison Square Garden we all know today. People are up in arms, so the client comes to Sterling Cooper hoping to squelch the bad PR with some snazzy ads. Of course this is the meeting that Campbell is overseeing, and hippie-dippy Kinsey has to go and agree with the protesters and piss off the MSG dude. Lane tells Don to take Mr. MSG out to lunch, where Don does his thing and convinces MSG suit to stop feeling guilty about destroying Penn Station or whatever, but own up to it and love it. It’s a classic Don move, but it’s rendered moot later, when Lane says British Parent Company doesn’t want them as a client anyway. Don gets pissed, and cites the potential for 30 years worth of ads for concerts and sporting events, but considering the shape the Knicks are in these days maybe Putnam, Powell & Lowe made the right call on this one?

Meanwhile, back at the Draper abode Betty is still extremely pregnant and fretting over her father. It seems that his lady friend has left him, and Betty is concerned how he is holding up with just her brother William playing caretaker. So she insists upon the whole Betty clan coming to the Draper house for a visit. Papa Betty seems okay, but William tells Betty they have to do something — either sell his house and put their father in a home, or have William and his wife Judy move in to take care of him. Betty sees the latter as a plot for William to pillage the house for heirlooms or something, so she tattles to Don who then bullies William into leaving and having Betty’s dad stay with them. Because that is a great idea that will end well.

What else doesn’t end well? This episode, which seems to stop abruptly with Peggy going into Don’s office to talk about diapers. However, we do get some choice fun and unfun facts this episode. Margaret Sterling (the daughter, not the ex-wife) has set her wedding date for November 23, 1963 – the day after the Kennedy Assassination. Ruh-Roh. Also, not only is Joan still with assface fiance, he’s now assface husband. Poor Mrs. Dr. Greg… whose home life we get to see next week! See you then when I gush about all things Joan (no longer) Holloway.

(photo credit Carin Baer)

Mad Men is back and I was right about everything. Granted, I had a little help here, but a good many of my Mad Men predictions were right. Let’s relive the first episode together, shall we?

Season 3 kicks off with a barefoot Don boiling milk and apparently remembering his own birth as he tends to the cravings of a very pregnant Betty. As predicted, Don and Betty are still married and still pregnant. I suppose this also proves it is sometime in 1963, although it’s never stated explicitly, but was revealed in Friday’s New York Times review.

Life at the Draper home is pretty much left alone for the rest of the episode, as the new British invaded Sterling Cooper takes center stage. Turns out Duck Phillips is gone, because there’s a new head of accounts who is introduced and immediately fired. Minus the new English CFO Lane Pryce, and his he-Secretary John Hooker, the power structure at SC is pretty much the same. Until Pryce promotes Cosgrove AND Campbell as co-Heads of Accounts. Without telling the other one. When the plan is revealed (“Is Cooper playing God or Darwin?” Don asks) Babyface Cosgrove still loves the promotion, whereas Pete whines and sulks to Trudy, who basically tells him to beat Cosgrove at the job while wearing an awkward hat that makes her head look like a reservoir tip.

Meanwhile, Don and Sal go on a business trip down to Baltimore, where Don gets it on with a stewardess, Sal nearly gets it on with a bellhop, and I fondly recall that other Greatest Show (that was once) on Television. Then the fire alarm goes off, and Don TOTES sees Sal with the mans in his room as he’s scurrying down the fire escape. But since Don is the keeper of all secrets deep and dark, he doesn’t say anything.

The episode ends back at the Draper home, as Sally unpacks Don’s suitcase to find the stewardess’s wings pin, and inadvertently covers his cheating by assuming it’s a gift for her. Betty doesn’t flinch, but she’s probably just tired and pregnant and not on her game. Then Sally asks Don to tell the story of the night she was born, in which Don barely veils the fact he was out cheating and came home late to find his wife in labor. Can’t wait to see what happens when Draper Baby #3 is born.

In episode one we also find out that Joan is still engaged and plans on high tailing it out of Sterling Cooper as soon as she can; Peggy can’t get respect from her secretary; and Dunkin Donuts is totally a client of Sterling Cooper. Let’s see if any more of my predictions come true in future episodes, and leave your own in the comments.

(photo credit: Carin Baer)

In preparation for the third season premiere of Mad Men this Sunday, I not only spent 3 hours changing the outfit of my Mad Men avatar, but I also put together this handy run down of the questions that will most likely pop into your head come Sunday evening at approximately 9:57 as you remember all the crazy things that happened when you were last watching the Greatest Show Ever.

What year will it be in the Mad Men universe?
Since last season ended in October 1962 during the Cuban Missile Crisis, with a newly pregnant Betty Draper, I suspect the new season will start sometime in the spring of 1963. According to everyone who has anything to do with the show, it’s a “closely guarded secret,” but c’mon: show about the 60s? I predict the Kennedy Assassination falls somewhere in episodes 4-6.

Will Don be working at Sterling Cooper? Will there even be a Sterling Cooper?
Duck Phillips, whose role in SC I never fully understood, somehow drunkenly orchestrates the sale of the agency to the bigger British conglomerate of Putnam, Powell & Lowe as a kind of power grab. In the one of the final scenes of the second season, Don Draper Don Drapers all of his plans, asserting he won’t be part of an agency that won’t let him spin coercive soliloquies to clients, and walks. So, we don’t know and we don’t know. But there will be some kind of ad agency with all the same (and some new!) ad men and gals, so don’t worry – you’ll get your Joan fix. And speaking of Joan…

Did Joan dump her assface of a fiance?
God I love Joan. Anyway, we learned last season that Joan was 31, engaged to a doctor named Greg, and was really into doing work outside of the secretarial pool that involved reading TV scripts. Then a vengeful Kinsey told everyone she was 31, the thought provoking work was given to a man, and Dr. Greg rapes her on the floor of Don’s office. I suspect Joan and Dr. Greg will not end up happily ever after.

Don and Betty: Still married? Still pregnant?
Speaking of ladies, Betty had one hell of a season. After replacing her psychiatrist with riding lessons, and kicking Don out of the house after she learned he was doin’ it with one of his lady clients (again), her dad has to go and have a stroke (again). Don escorts Betty back to her childhood home where her dad mistakes Betty for her late mother and kinda gropes her a lot. And Don and Betty have sex, which confuses Don and makes a baby. The season ends with Betty inviting Don home and nuclear war not starting, so I predict the season will start with a mad preggers Betty wondering (again) what the hell she is doing with her life and how she ended up where she is. And smoking.

Whatever happened with Peggy’s kid?
What with breaking glass ceilings in the advertising world and getting a stylish flip ‘do and giving her kid away, Peggy had a busy season. She took over Freddy Rumsen’s office, started listening to Bob Dylan and told Pete she didn’t love him and that she gave away his kid. So I don’t think Peggy’s kid ever comes back into the picture in any major way—that is unless somehow Trudy Campbell somehow gets her WASPy hands on him.

Is Pete still throwing chickens out of windows? Or is he pretty much over that?
Prior to confessing his love for Peggy, Campbell lost his father in the worst plane crash of 1962, went on a business trip to LA with Don (only for Don to disappear and wind up at the the house of the real Missus Draper) and had to deal with his baby-crazy wife forcing the idea of adoption on him, what with her being a barren Karen (Ed- Yes, Lauren, those two words rhyme) and all. To vent his frustrations one day he comes home and throws his dinner out the window. It’s barely a plot point, but it was kind of hilarious and worth mentioning. I suspect Campbell will be in a somewhat higher position at the new Sterling Cooper, but not ahead of Don and certainly does not carry the kind of sway he wants.

What are those other guys’ names? What happened with them…one maybe is gay?
Oh those sexist, racist, drunken Mad Boys who roam the halls of Sterling Cooper. You probably confuse their names a little bit like I do, but here’s who they are based on a distinguishing physical attribute:
Cosgrove – He’s blond and baby faced and he’ll probably continue to be blond and baby faced.
Harry Crane – He has glasses and is the head of Cooper Sterling’s television division. That will become more and more important, and I suspect he will become more and incompetent.
Paul Kinsey – He’s the one with the beard, and also the “progressive one,” so expect him to make a comment on the Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have a Dream Speech” and/or an anti Vietnam comment sometime in the later half of the season.
Salvatore Romano – He’s the closeted gay! With the loveless marriage! That will be addressed (probably) during the season (hopefully).

Let’s just all agree that Michelle Obama is teh good, and not just because of the toned arms and the dresses and the White House Organic Garden and her impressive degrees and the fact she deals with an unruly Portuguese Water Dog like my mom does (hi Mom!). Rather, let’s applaud her for distracting the world from her hubby’s healthcare bill, uh, experiment with a haircut.

As The New York Times says today, President Obama is putting a lot at stake with the passage of his health legislation, and he has to deal with peevish, moronic Republicans to get it done. But have no fear! It’s the first lady to the rescue, taking the spotlight away — for just a brief moment — with short hair! It’s new! It’s different! It’s short! Did we mention LOOK AT HER HAIR??!?

And yeah, people will complain that this is just another instance of treating the First Family like celebrities, and ignoring the important stuff, like the apparent current downward spiral that is our country. But I say to everyone: RELAX, and enjoy the sweeping side bangs for just a moment.

I know it might seem hard now, but try to think back to the time of a pre-Swine Flu news cycle. It was a glorious place, replete with Pirates and Governor Rick Perry sympathizing with his fellow, secession-hungry Texans.

Well, as Clyde Haberman points out in Friday’s Times, New York City has been a regular hotbed of Secessionism itself.To wit: Staten Island still wants out of New York City despite a blocked attempt in ’93; New York City wants out of New York State; and a few Long Island denizens run the gamut of wanting their own to state to calling for the “Independent Sovereign Nation” of Long Island (and yes, Brooklyn and Queens would be included).

So, what do you have to say about that Perry? While you just have your one, little country — and good luck dealing with this, by the way — we’ll get a new city, two states AND a country out of the deal. Not to mention some exciting new L Mag issues, like the All New “Are you a Real Independent Sovereign Nation of Long Island, plus Kings AND Queens County-ite?”