Obsessive Brooklyn locavores (locaholics?) have a new prey: small-batch spirits and wines, made right here in the borough. Sure, the small quantities can mean higher price points, so not a lot of bars feature them in their house cocktails (or else can’t yet get their hands on a bottled product)—but that just makes the hunt more exciting. Here then, is our brief guide to the best of local booze in Brooklyn. Happy drinking!

Kings County Distillery

When April 15 rolls around next week, Colin Spoelman and David Haskell will reach for bottles of moonshine and whiskey—but not because it’s Tax Day. The date will mark the Kings County Distillery’s two-year anniversary, making it the oldest of Brooklyn’s microdistilleries—but the co-owners won’t be in full celebration mode just yet. They’re in the process of moving the company’s operations from Williamsburg to the Brooklyn Navy Yard, where they’ll occupy a 100-plus-year-old building not far from the York Street F stop. The new shop will feature a tasting room (the old location was too small to house one) and, if the soil tests come back ok, a patch of ground for growing corn. The duo plans to use the harvest for their moonshine, which the American Distilling Institute crowned best in the country last year. For now, the microdistillery relies on corn yields from organic farms upstate and malted barley from Scotland for its ingredients.

12. Red Hook

Why You Should Move Here

Red Hook has evolved unlike any other neighborhood thanks to its relative seclusion—the subway only goes near it—and its proximity to the hip parts of South Brooklyn. The heart of Red Hook is the sprawling Red Hook Houses; the rest of the neighborhood is dotted with the kind of homes, low-rise apartments and vacant lots you also see out on Mermaid and Neptune avenues. But unlike in Coney Island, artists and other creative types have moved into many of these homes, creating a diverse neighborhood with a real sense of community that maintains equal parts old-world charm, 20th-century renewal, and 21st-century reinvention. Plus, there’s the IKEA, the Fairway, and those famous seasonal food trucks.

What the Future Holds

Smith-Ninth Street will re-open in 2012 and it’ll be nicer than ever. Local artist Dustin Yellin has purchased an enormous warehouse he’s working to turn into an exhibition gallery with artist studios and a sculpture garden.

Where You’ll Find Us

Behind the Fairway, leaning on a decommissioned trolley. Eating key lime pies at Steve’s. Looking for Michael Shannon. Having pre-dinner drinks at Fort Defiance. Singing karaoke at Hope and Anchor. Enjoying after-dinner drinks at Bait and Tackle. Passed out on Ben Sutton’s couch.

Second Thoughts

You’re going to pay too much money because, despite the lack of amenities like subway service, the finite supply of housing and high demand among the hip inflates prices. The nearest subway station, Smith-Ninth Street, recently closed down for renovations. Plus, a footbridge over Hamilton Avenue is closed for repairs. Red Hook is not easy to get to, and it recently got more difficult. (The sign at a local diner—”Welcome to Red Hook. You made it!”) There’s also something discomfiting about the Van Brunt strip’s disconnect from its public-housing neighbors.

How Much

Average rent of a two-bedroom apartment:$2,600

Greenpoint | Fort Green/Clinton Hill | Ditmas Park | Cobble Hill | Williamsburg | Gowanus | Bushwick | Park Slope | Carroll Gardens | Brooklyn Heights | DUMBO | Red Hook

11. DUMBO

Why You Should Move Here

Full disclosure: This magazine has had offices in DUMBO for just about a decade, now, and we’re still not crazy about the neighborhood. But let us try to list the good: wonderful views of the city, some very good pizza (Grimaldi’s), accessible by land and sea, a good bakery (Almondine), two good bookstores, and two good bars (68 Jay and Superfine). And, sure, if you like tourists taking pictures of the Manhattan Bridge and overpriced delis and roadwork, this is also the place for you.

What the Future Holds

Great news, everyone, you can finally visit Jane’s Carousel! Also, luxury condominiums in parks, in order to pay for said parks—thanks free market!

Where You’ll Find Us

See above. Or waiting on line for the ferry.

Second Thoughts

Seriously, unless you can afford the penthouse views and/or to have your groceries flown in by helicopter, we can’t see why someone would actively seek to rent in DUMBO.

How Much

Average two-bedroom rental: $4,600 (HAHAHA)

Greenpoint | Fort Green/Clinton Hill | Ditmas Park | Cobble Hill | Williamsburg | Gowanus | Bushwick | Park Slope | Carroll Gardens | Brooklyn Heights | DUMBO | Red Hook

10. Brooklyn Heights

Why You Should Move Here

This one’s pretty easy: this could be one of the prettiest urban neighborhoods in the entire country—a stroll on the promenade anyone? So why is it so low on our list? Well, it’s crazy expensive, and it’s so boring it makes Park Slope look like Kreutzberg.

What the Future Holds

Well, not much, really, as the exigencies of historical preservation dictate that the Heights is pretty much a “finished” neighborhood. Of course, the nearby Brooklyn Bridge Park is trundling its way to completion, and there’s been recent speculation about Brooklyn getting its own “big dig,” as the BQE gets buried underground, but even these are but the faintest peripheral shadows on the eternal beauty of Brooklyn Heights.

Where You’ll Find Us

On the promenade reading a copy of A House in the Heights (Truman!), a mixed vegetarian platter from Tut Café by our side, gazing wistfully across the river at the cheaper rents of Manhattan…

Second Thoughts

Seriously, look at those rents. And don’t expect to have much fun (at least the kind of fun that involves anything louder than a decorous “indoor” voice). Also, the hood’s high street, Montague—and its mediocre, overpriced restaurants—feels like it could belong to any pokey little college town in America.

How Much

Average two-bedroom rental: FOUR-THOUSAND DOLLAREE-DOOS!

Greenpoint | Fort Green/Clinton Hill | Ditmas Park | Cobble Hill | Williamsburg | Gowanus | Bushwick | Park Slope | Carroll Gardens | Brooklyn Heights | DUMBO | Red Hook

9.Carroll Gardens

Why You Should Move Here

“Gardens” wasn’t just appended to the end of this neighborhood’s name to make it sound classy: it’s a reference to the oldest homes here, which are set back a few dozen feet from the street to allow for large front gardens. “It is this legacy that sets us apart from being just another brownstone neighborhood,” Katia Kelly has written on her Pardon Me for Asking blog. Like in Cobble Hill—which, c’mon, aren’t these basically one neighborhood? Let’s call it Smithtown—a bumper crop of stylish nightlife spots occupy Carroll Gardens’ section of Smith Street. But the neighborhood also still retains the flavor of its Italian immigrant community. In the last 20 years, an influx of French have arrived, as well, making Carroll Gardens home to an annual Bastille Day celebration.

What the Future Holds

The city is in the process of trying to create a larger historic district, which critics say imposes an undue burden on property owners; supporters point to studies that say property values rise in historic districts. Buy now!

Where You’ll Find Us

Wondering why we never see Mike Conklin at Abilene anymore. Enjoying the croissants at Provence et Boite. Making a meal of the sides at Buttermilk Channel. Cramming into a corner at Bar Great Harry. Eating garlic pita bread at Zaytoons. 

Second Thoughts

The neighborhood also still retains the flavor of its Italian immigrant community. In the last 20 years, an influx of French have arrived, as well, making Carroll Gardens home to an annual Bastille Day celebration.

How Much

Average rental of a two-bedroom apartment: $2,300

Greenpoint | Fort Green/Clinton Hill | Ditmas Park | Cobble Hill | Williamsburg | Gowanus | Bushwick | Park Slope | Carroll Gardens | Brooklyn Heights | DUMBO | Red Hook

8. Park Slope

Why You Should Move Here

The neighborhood may have become a punch line to jokes about baby strollers and over parenting, but there’s a reason the Slope topped Nate Silver’s list of the best neighborhoods in New York last year: block after block of leafy trees and stoops descending from stately brownstones; the proximity to Prospect Park, the nicest place in the borough; the copious restaurants and bars.

What the Future Holds

Then again, Park Slope’s position as the borough’s kid-capital is slipping, with erstwhile hip Williamsburg poised to take over. Will the whole neighborhood become as cool as its hipper south side already is? Or will parents simply take over the borough? The ranks of all those fogeys opposed to the Prospect Park West bike lane are bound to start thinning.

Where You’ll Find Us

If it were socially acceptable to erect a tent in a banh mi shop, we’d live at Hanco’s, feeding off the sandwiches. If evicted, you’d find us down at V-Spot, enjoying some of the heartiest vegan fare in Brooklyn, or spread out in the park’s Nethermead, playing with a stranger’s dog, reading a book (from the Community Bookstore—perhaps a graphic novel from Galaxy Comics even!)—or illicitly drinking a bottle of wine (from Red, White and Bubbly).

Second Thoughts

All those lingering parents do have an adverse effect. We lived here briefly, and a neighbor yelled at us during our housewarming to move our barbecue because we were “smoking out” his kid. That same neighbor woke us up one Sunday yelling at the guy above us to stop smoking marijuana on his fire escape. Hell, we used to sit and brood about those kids upstairs making such a racket. Nice things are for old people—old people who can afford the million dollars a year it takes to live well here.

How Much

Average rent of a two-bedroom apartment: $2,900

Greenpoint | Fort Green/Clinton Hill | Ditmas Park | Cobble Hill | Williamsburg | Gowanus | Bushwick | Park Slope | Carroll Gardens | Brooklyn Heights | DUMBO | Red Hook

7.Bushwick

Why You Should Move Here

Well, according to Patti Smith, the only cool place left near New York City is Poughkeepsie. But, if you’re sort of young and self-identify as “cool,” you could still give Bushwick a try (though, obviously, you’re pretty late to the party, dude). Seriously, though, Bushwick has cornered the ever-shifting market on “artsy,” as Williamsburg galleries like Momenta Art and Nurtureart have made the move, along with a big splash by Chelsea’s Luhring Augustine, which has a space opening later this fall, in a building they bought… So yeah, there are still a few young people here, doing interesting things, but who knows how long they’ll be able to afford it.

What the Future Holds

Williamsburg has come and gone as the locus of cool, and as the waters recede there remains surprisingly sparse evidence of a once thriving gallery scene. Some have suggested the absence of serious investment from cultural institutions, the kind that has happened in Queens, is at fault, so here’s hoping Bushwick can survive the next phase of gentrification with its artistic soul intact.

Where You’ll Find Us

Drinking a $2 PBR at Cafe Ghia. Eating a burger at Burger It Up. Saving up for a big night out at Roberta’s. In Paul D’Agostino’s living room, looking at art.

Second Thoughts

The benefits of gentrification (a thriving arts scene, small businesses serving good coffee/beer/food) are a little diffuse, and it’s obviously more of a hike from Manhattan (if you care about such things). And the greenspace in Bushwick makes Williamsburg look like Montana.

How Much

Average rent of a two-bedroom apartment: $1,600

Greenpoint | Fort Green/Clinton Hill | Ditmas Park | Cobble Hill | Williamsburg | Gowanus | Bushwick | Park Slope | Carroll Gardens | Brooklyn Heights | DUMBO | Red Hook

6.Gowanus

Why You Should Move Here

Typically, neighborhood transformations transpire thus: newcomers move in, build shops and cultural spaces that enhance the quality of life, and then big bad developers push them out with giant condo towers and chain stores. But something funny happened in this formerly industrial neighborhood, which takes its name from the famously polluted canal it abuts: a Federal Superfund designation of the rancid waterway scared away most of the big money, leaving small businesspeople, artists and entrepreneurs to keep doing what they were doing, making for one of the artsiest neighborhoods in Brooklyn—with no real danger, at least in the short term, of big money coming to displace them.

What the Future Holds

A Whole Foods is set to open in the spring, on the corner of Third Avenue and Third Street. And the Smith-Ninth Street subway station should reopen around the same time, adding a touch of much-needed pleasantness to one corner of the gray, treeless area. And there are rumors of the department of city planning rezoning the area to allow for more residential development.

Where You’ll Find Us

Eating Chinese food at Michael and Ping’s. Attending a wacky theme party at the Bell House. Buying hops and yeast at Homebrew. Trying the classic cheesecake that Sammy Davis, Jr. once ate at the newly reopened Monte’s. Sipping whiskey at the dive-y Canal Bar.

Second Thoughts

That canal is not only polluted with decades of industrial waste—it’s also a site for sewer overflows, where the city releases raw sewage when rainstorms overload the system. During a heavy storm like Irene, the canal can rise over its banks into the streets, as though your neighbor shit in a bucket and dumped the bucket out the window. Also, as the memorable title of a Bored to Death episode last season put it, The Gowanus Canal Has Gonorrhea.

How Much

Average rent of a two-bedroom apartment: $1,600

Greenpoint | Fort Green/Clinton Hill | Ditmas Park | Cobble Hill | Williamsburg | Gowanus | Bushwick | Park Slope | Carroll Gardens | Brooklyn Heights | DUMBO | Red Hook

5.Williamsburg

Why You Should Move Here

Let’s get this out of the way: Williamsburg long ago ceased to be the epicenter of what is “cool” about Brooklyn—it is old, it is monied, it is full of condos and strollers. But, BUT, unlike Park Slope (also old, monied and full of, well, what comes after strollers?) Billyburg retains enough of its counterculture sheen to still attract actual cool people from around the world—the French, the Dutch, the Spanish, the Italians… and holy crap a lot of Japanese hipsters. So yes, galleries are leaving, and the kids can’t afford rent, but if you like good restaurants and don’t think it’s crazy to spend $400 on (really effing beautiful) shoes, the hood’s for you. The old hipsters grew up and started having babies, but there’s a ton of cool shit still here, you just have to look for it (and have the money to enjoy it).

What the Future Holds

It’s hard to imagine that the corner of North 7th and Bedford could get any more crowded, but as another 10,000 housing units approach completion over the next decade (hello, Domino!), we could be looking at serious infrastructure collapse. On top of that obvious fact, developer promises of more green space (to supplement the already overtaxed parks) are falling by the wayside, contributing to an often Manhattanesque sense of density along the Bedford corridor.

Where You’ll Find Us

In the back room of Samurai Mama eating Japanese bar snacks. Sucking back oysters and absinthe at Maison Premiere. Watching obscure Czech cinema at Spectacle. Browsing the sale racks at Bird. Stuffing our faces indiscriminately at Smorgasburg.

Second Thoughts

Uhh, did we mention that North 6th on weekends is like Bourbon Street?

How Much

Average rent of a two-bedroom apartment: $3,400

Greenpoint | Fort Green/Clinton Hill | Ditmas Park | Cobble Hill | Williamsburg | Gowanus | Bushwick | Park Slope | Carroll Gardens | Brooklyn Heights | DUMBO | Red Hook