02/06/15 9:00am
02/06/2015 9:00 AM |
No, we meant two *different* silly movies with this year's Oscar nominees. The L regrets the error.

It’s boondoggle wars at the multiplex this weekend, with not one but two much-delayed mega-budget fantasies scrapping it out for near-identical audiences. I’m not sure whether Warner Brothers opening Jupiter Ascending on the same day as Universal’s Seventh Son counts as spectacular self-sabotage or naked aggression—and, if so, on whose side. Seventh Son was once property of Warner Brothers; it went (or was foisted upon) Universal during WB’s split with Legendary Pictures, and now here it is, ready to fight for scraps. Jupiter at least has the Wachowski advantage for nerd auteurists; Seventh Son is directed by Sergei Bodrov, a Russian director mostly unknown in this country apart from his little-seen Genghis Khan movie Mongol [hahahaha “apart from” -Ed.]. He’s the latest director unproven in the U.S. studio system given big money on his first attempt in that arena; I’d say studios are forever hoping one of these guys becomes the next Wachowskis, but at this point studios are forever hoping the Wachowskis become the next Wachowskis, instead of the brilliant oddballs who made the phantasmagorical Speed Racer and the wildly ambitious Cloud Atlas.